Our values shape us

Kevin Mokento | Friday January 22, 2021 15:57

All too often, our conduct reveals our values.

Values are not intellectual. They are heartfelt. In essence, they are a blueprint of principles that we embrace. They scream out what we are. At a personal level, they are the DNA of our moral fibre. And at a business level, they are representative of our corporate culture. Though we’re often driven to perform by highly demanding goal-centric work environments, en route to achieving such goals, it is essential to guard against being obsessed with outcomes such that we are pressurised to compromise on values cherished by our shareholders, employers, co-workers, friends and family.

The route to achieving our targets is often fraught with unanticipated challenges. Along the way, introspection is crucial. We need to make value-based decisions. However, we could find ourselves in an unenviable position if our heart becomes a confluence of conflicting emotions. We could easily find that our feelings and values are misaligned. If our passion to excel in reaching our goals happens to be the only important thing, we are likely to be tempted to act in ways that are at variance with our values. Living the lie as it were!

This explains why some people would not think twice about bribing a person endowed with the authority to make decisions in their favour. These could be government inspectors, assessors of loan applications, traffic officers, auditors, insurance assessors and even officers responsible for admitting students to institutions of higher learning.

Let’s discuss some important values, starting with love. Love is best described by stating what it is not. Among other things, one revered book describes it this way, ‘does not brag, does not boast, is not rude, is not self-seeking, does not delight in evil…’ A practical expression of love wards off possibility of leading a self-absorbed lifestyle, deliberately choosing to be inattentive to the needs of others. In simple terms, where love rules, the power of love always exceeds the love of power by an infinite margin.

Compelled by love, a regime that exercises authority over others cannot be sclerotic, but will always be responsive to the needs of the people. Driven by this value, a married person would never lay a hand on their spouse. Although thoughts of infidelity might invade one’s mind uninvited, inspired by this attribute, a married person would quickly quash such thoughts. Impelled by love, one would work hard to sustain themselves and their family rather than take the easy route of stealing or depending on handouts. Compassion and kindheartedness would define our personality.

Another important value is honesty. In many ways, this is closely linked to integrity. We need to be honest at home, in our neighbourhood, at work and in our business dealings. A truthful inward looking assessment of ourselves might reveal that we’ve all been dishonest at some stage in our life. Of course, we may be tempted to rationalise on varying degrees of honesty and claim that our dishonesty was an inconsequential fib. But isn’t it true that if we allowed this value to shape us, we would be a more ethic-driven society and by extension more cohesive and stronger?

Motivated by honesty, through one corner of their mouth, a married person would not avow their love for their mate, while disingenuously using the other corner to express deep feelings of affection to another person of the opposite gender. In their cellphone’s contact list, close friends of the opposite sex would not be assigned names associated with the other gender. Messages received and calls made and received would not be deleted before one arrives home. Empowered by this value, if we are married in community of property, we would not own assets of material value that our spouses have no clue about. In our business contracts we would not squeeze in an illegible fine print that would impose a heavy burden on our partners or clients.

We would all be productive at work, deliberately refraining from using our employers’ assets for personal benefit without permission. Whenever the going gets tough at work, our resilience and perseverance would kick in , motivating us to dig deep and push ourselves. We would see beyond current obstacles, and visualise ourselves crossing the finishing line, elatedly holding that trophy above our heads with a sense of accomplishment.

If we allowed honesty to define us, we would not make promises with a clear intention of not fulfilling them. Be they promises to the electorate, our employees, our employers, our family and our friends. We would resist the temptation to take undue advantage of economic refugees by underpaying them for services rendered. It is for good reason that Warren Buffett said, “Honesty is a very expensive gift. Don’t expect it from cheap people.”

What about broad-mindedness? Not necessarily being naïve. But acknowledging that we cannot always believe that it is only our lens that gives the best panoramic view of life. There are a myriad of possibilities. Perhaps that explains why the Greek philosopher Aristotle once said, “It is the mark of an educated man to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.”

What are your values?