Female Viagra For Who?
Tumie Modise | Monday August 31, 2015 15:54
You know mother nature has a wicked sense of humour when royalty decide to rumble in the jungle with commoners for a seat in the August house, but you know for sure that the gods have totally gone crazy when a female Viagra, we are told, becomes the latest sophisticated invention to hit our shelves!
Who on this earth needs a female Viagra? I know I don’t. A couple of my friends don’t, well at least I hope so. So who needs it and who is it intended for, what is the target market? Female athletes? Last time I checked, and I am going to really try and be politically correct here, this being a family paper and all, to this day the male version of the pill is still a close guarded secret and even years after the pill made its debut, I am yet to see it with my own naked eyes. Its success rate if any, isn’t documented anywhere and unlike Herbex, you don’t see Viagra happy customers flexing their muscles on billboards along the Western bypass. I have already pointed out that none of my friends know these things, it is my story and I am still sticking to it.
I took the liberty though to do a little research on the male version of the pill, just so I fully understand what it stands for. With modern technology you no longer need to ask your friend, even your mother, any topic under the sun, be it the weather, even your totem. The first red flag was that the pill, unlike many inventions, was not tested on any animals! Now as we know, every strange or potentially life threatening human invention first gets tested on animals before the two legged animals decide it’s safe for other human after all.
Even Vaseline was first tested on animals and if you read the fine print on the little bottles just above the barcode, they swear upon testing it made the animal fur ‘shiny and soft’. The animal’s fate remains unknown.
As it turns out, and I am now biting my tongue here, even Wikipedia seems confused as to what this thing is really supposed to do, even to whose benefit. A pill or any medication for that matter, are invented for the primary role of curing all sorts of ailments. With the right diagnosis and prescription, a pill will restore your ailing body to half of its original form in say, less than a week, that is if you are not already one step closer to the grave and are just trying to fight the inevitable.
The blue pill, as it’s commonly known, is apparently supposed to reverse or in strange cases, make men real men, whatever that even means. One advert I’ve seen has it that the pill literally raises the dead from the dead. The power of marketing. But I would never know, I have already said I know no dead living people.
That is fair, in any case men and women are different, with the only thing we have in common being the same number of fingers and toes.
So who needs this female Viagra? I imagine myself needing such drastic an intervention. I am not exactly young, I am not old either so I imagine I would have been a prime test dummy for this thing, had it been ever tested here! By nature I have an overactive mind, I think on my feet and 80% of the time I don’t even dream in my sleep, I just think while I sleep.
Now these pills, the-not-so reliable Wiki assures me, mainly helps those who have trouble thinking about the right stuff at the right time. The mind is complex, sometimes you think you are looking at a lion when in fact; you are only starring at a cat.
In a nutshell this pill is going to fail in our market, epic failure if I may add. As things stand, most males cannot even handle their own version of the pill. It terrifies them! In any case we are wired differently from males, we don’t go around thinking of funny stuff all day and the pill and its alleged use don’t even occupy our minds, not even half of the time! I can attest that no sane female would ever waste their hard earned cash on that nonsense, mascara makes more sense. God, and if you are an atheist, even King Kong never intended women to ever behave like bunnies on steroids. I will pass on this magic pill.