Voting with the stomach
Tumie Modise | Monday June 29, 2015 17:29
The departed Albert Einstein was no ordinary chap from Bokspits but was one famous Scientist, theoretical physicist, mathematician and genius extraordinaire.
Until this genius came along, the world, we are told, was as confused as a herd of goats on the eve of Christmas.
Nobody, for example, knew why a plastic could be blown up and high in the sky by wind, while a chair couldn’t. Nobody even understood why a P10 bill thrown to the wind was likely to end up in somebody else hands a street away while on the other hand a rock thrown up high in the air will always end up on the thrower’ s head and not on its preferred destination, your enemy’s head.
Many probably believed such things had something to do with nothing, and for the more paranoid ones, especially the ones in this side of the world, just sophisticated witchcraft. From where my three-year-old is standing, it always has to do with the naughty kid next door.
One can never avoid writing about politicians, no matter how hard one tries. I should know. Unfortunately, normal life as we know it is run or ruined politicians, depending on which side of the fence you are on.
Some of our local politicians have a penchant for drama; they crave attention and most of them seem to have missed their true calling at Nollywood. A little over seven months ago, we went for general elections. After intense election campaigning that was marred by drama, theatrics and yet to be tested wild conspiracy theories, we are at again once more.
The loud mouthed ones, because they are even very gifted in that department, are at it again! Perhaps just out of sheer boredom (because they love the spot light), the human loud speakers hate the idea of being left alone to fulfill the promises they made to us and once more, they are up on our rooftops like the naughty kid next door, demanding our full attention. Only that they will still have nothing sensible to say, even if we paid attention.
The silliest thing about politics, and this is what most people hate most about it, is that everything is always left or right. In politics, the attitude is; you are either with or against us, nothing is ever in between. In what is fast turning into an exercise in futility, last October 24, thousands of people left the comfort of their homes at the crack of dawn and made their way to polling stations to cast their votes. I was in one such queue for 3 hours, waiting to cast my vote. Irritated, hungry and tired, I braved the chilly day and cast my vote. So did many more.
Fast forward to today, the very same people we left our cozy beds and skipped meals for are already acting like spoilt brats.
Two of them have already quit political office and we are told, on personal grounds and we are even reminded, reasons that are really none of our business! Now the hilarious part is that we have since been told they left politics for ‘greener pastures’.
There is nothing wrong with looking for greener pastures; the only problem is when you leave greener pastures for politics. It is a move devoid of sense, with zero logic.
So what have we leant from this? I am fast learning that politicians think with their bellies, never with their grey matter. I have learnt that with them, it’s never about the ‘masses’ or even about the country, it is all about them and what is in it for them.
I have also discovered, with utter disbelief, that I even have psychic powers because not long ago I predicted correctly that one of them would quit, and he did!
So with just 7 months after election, two of them have already thrown in the towel. Boswell Willkie is back in town, the countdown has surely begun. But where does that leave the voter? In their place if you ask me.
It was always inevitable because even the clergy has long joined in! Men and women of the clergy have long joined in the fun, hung up their robes, stepped down from the pulpit and joined the Tom and Jerry chase that is our politics of lies and deceit.
They didn’t need any cajoling either. Could Albert Einstein have been right all along?