Taking pride in being an African child
Correspondent | Thursday June 18, 2015 12:18
Only last week I was getting out of a local shop, after trying my luck at shopping for some products which I perceived to be ideal for a friend’s gift pack when some advert caught my attention. It had some illustrations and words that promoted transformation from black skin to light skin. It even graphically suggested black skin to be more imperfect than light skin. The message was clearly an anti-black skin campaign.
I had been aware of some individuals who had bleached their skin white but never really associated their choices with the effects of marketing. It was this anti-black skin campaign that triggered my curiosity to start doing my own investigations to find out if black skin was really a big issue, especially in predominantly black communities and from that, I learned quite a lot.
The relationship between skin bleaching and self-esteem has actually caught the attention of many researchers globally. Charles (2010), reports that the top three reasons given by skin bleachers in Jamaica included; to look brighter, to get rid of black heads and to look beautiful before the eyes of others. Charles, (2010) further indicate preference for lighter skin tones in black children who were asked to identify their preference for a black or a white doll.
It would be interesting to find out the extent to which people bleach their skin in Botswana and the reasons for their choices. When you have reached a certain level of mental development and somebody tells you how pretty you look, you would say “thank you,” not because you are surprised, but simply to appreciate the gesture of humility extended to you by this other individual. While it is nice to be born with a light skin, I think it should equally be a pleasant experience to be born with a very dark skin. My encounter with anti-black skin advert made me think about the psychological effects messages such as the one in this advert have on children and youth. Under normal circumstances, when you work with youth you somehow become sensitive to the messages that are conveyed to them.
Children need plenty of reassurance to make them love who they really are. It can take patience and time to make a difference in the lives of people who have repeatedly been told that they are not ideal.
Several years ago, an entrepreneur in South Africa had to close shop because her black dolls were not favoured, even among black communities. Last weekend I met a Motswana woman who is also making an effort to promote black beauty and self-acceptance by manufacturing and selling black dolls.
It really feels good when you are well assured about your looks and sometimes external approval can come in handy.
But it becomes a cause for concern when self-acceptance is not sufficient enough to put your mind at ease. It is important to instill a sense of self-acceptance and love in children and youth.
Research also suggests that positive experiences with parents or significant others have much of the influence over an individual’s self-esteem. Below are some tips parents and guardians could find useful in promoting positive self-esteem in children and youth:
Show value in children. Research shows that adults who express unconditional love and acceptance for children create an atmosphere that promotes optimistic attitudes and a secure sense of who they are.
It is also important to avoid attacking children on things they don’t have control over, such as their physical looks. Expressions such as se areng ne selo se sentsho se! or wareng mmamohibitswanyane? can have long lasting effects on an individual’s self-esteem.
Instill a strong sense of identity without being racist. Children need to know who they really are, in relation to their family, community and school values. A strong sense of identity creates a strong emotional backbone in individual people. Listen to children. It is important to listen carefully to the children’s experiences and opinions, without necessarily forcing your solutions into them. Comments such as ele gore a o seso he! When a child shares his or her experiences and feelings can create a barrier between children and caretakers such as parents, guardians and teachers.
When that happens, a child would normally get attracted to people outside what could have been his or her safe haven, just because they seem a lot more interested in him or her and that usually breeds long term behavioural challenges.
Usually children who show problematic behaviour in and out of school would be reacting to a disconnection with a significant person in their lives.
VICTORIA SEIKETSO SETHIBE *