Sexual addiction is an illness
Keletso Thobega | Wednesday March 4, 2015 17:38
In certain parts, Kgafela described signs of sexual addiction, which were made to seem like those of frustration, something I found confusing. The statements of exhibiting negative behaviour applied to people with an insatiable sexual appetite.
Only a person who makes sex the most important aspect of their existence would suffer negative consequences if they didn’t indulge, because they would be addicted to sex. That sexual frustration makes people moody, grumpy, antagonistic and irrational in private and public affairs is a simplistic analogy.
That sexual frustration is the root cause of societal problems is absurd. To the contrary, sex has created many problems in the world, some which have two legs.
There are other factors that bring on negative behaviour in humans like, stress, one’s chemical and genetic composition, emotional state, diet and natural disposition. Besides, there are people who have sex but still exhibit anti-social behavior.
As much as sex is healthy and pleasurable, whether for reproduction or leisure, it requires emotional and spiritual stability. Sexual engagement is also more fulfilling between two people who genuinely love each other. On the other hand, periodic sexual abstinence is fine. Human beings cannot always be having sex like rabbits – it’s impractical and abnormal. There are many celibate individuals (celibate by choice, or for religious and cultural reasons) who are healthy and happy. They have mastered self-control: sexual gratification doesn’t alter their behaviour.
Increasing sexual provocation in our society has spawned an increase in the number of people who engage in unusual or illicit sexual practices. It hence becomes difficult to draw the line between healthy interest in sex, and obsession…
We praise people with a tjatarag sexual libido, without realising that they are ill…
Sexual addiction is defined an excessive sexual drive or an uncontrollable compulsive engagement in sexual activity. It could be diagnosed as hyper sexuality, nymphomania; paraphilia related disorders, and is categorized as borderline personality, or intimacy disorder, which needs psychiatric intervention. Signs of sex addiction include constantly entertaining sexual thoughts or fantasies, compulsive masturbation, watching porn, soliciting sex services from prostitutes or various lovers.
Sex therapists and psychologists have established that sex addiction is often not solely for sexual gratification but is often a reflection of a need of power, dominance, control, revenge or a perverted expression of anger.
Unfortunately, in black communities we haven’t accepted that sexual addiction is an illness, due to ignorance and denial. I thought about this last week after watching the movie, Addicted. It’s about a beautiful and smart career woman who runs a marketing agency. She’s married to a handsome, rich and successful family-orientated man who doesn’t cheat. Although her husband tries his best to please her, the lady is still unsatisfied. She begins to watch pornography and is tempted to cheat because her husband can’t keep up with her raging libido. She then gets addicted to the thrill of her sexual escapades. Her odd tendencies affect her work and family life because she sneaks out for sessions with her lovers and misses her children’s school activities and work engagements. In the end, she gets caught out and is taken to a shrink where she is diagnosed as a sex addict and enrolled into therapy.
I know it appears like typical middle-class problems but bottom-line, it’s abnormal to develop an obsession with sex. I found it patronizing that a woman was portrayed as a sex addict. In reality, there aren’t as many nymphomaniacs as compared to male sex addicts.
Some men make sexual advances at many women, and when he looks at you, it’s evident that this person is entertaining perverted thoughts.
That’s a clear sign of a dysfunctional and dangerous character.
A normal healthy person controls their thoughts, not the other way round!
Many of us got to learn of sex addiction several years ago when American singer Eric Benet made headlines for cheating on actress Halle Berry with a string of women. He was later diagnosed as a sex addict but some people felt he was just promiscuous.
The “spirit of lust” could be passed off as joke (the devil doesn’t always appear with horns, remember?) but it’s problematic. Sexual addiction leads to infidelity, cheating and poses a health risk (STI transmission), interferes with work and social relationships and could lead to sexual harassment, molestation and rape.