The anguish of rape by acquaintance
Mpho Mokwape | Friday February 27, 2015 14:52
*Elise Boikobo
“People may often talk about rape, but we may never understand. Only people who have been through the ordeal can know and understand what it is.
I knew this person. I was used to him he was literally like a friend to me if not a brother. Not in a million years had the thought of him doing something so despicable to me cross my mind. Those were the things I only saw in movies, so unreal like a nightmare.
I was used to going to his place so a lot of people knew that and we were just friends until that fateful day.
It was early in the morning and I woke up feeling really hungry. I needed something to eat. I went to a nearby tuckshop just so I could get something and on my way there I found it closed.
Returning was a mission and a half and luckily I ran into him along the way and as we were exchanging pleasantries it so happens that I mentioned how hungry I was. He offered me food at his place.
“I didn’t even hesitate. Here was someone I knew offering to rescue me from a terrible hunger and would I have refused? No… he was not a stranger.”
Would you report someone who has just offered you food and whose house you willingly agreed to go to, would you? (Pauses). Just think of the shame and the ridicule I was going to face. School was never going to be the same. Imagine the everyday stares and gossip. This is the reason why I say you will never get it unless you have been through it.
Again it was so early in the morning, it would sound so unusual that I was raped at someone’s place so early and wonder what I was doing there at that time.
He offered me food as promised. I ate the food. While I was about to leave after finishing he blocked my way.
Initially I thought he was just being silly until he became a little aggressive with me. He pushed me to the bed and started undressing me. All the while I knew what was about to happen. I immediately blocked the whole thing out.
To this day I hardly talk about it, it keeps coming back to haunt me. The memories are still so vivid. Sometimes I even fail to breath. I never sought any medical help. I only went to Tebelopele. I wish I could have reacted differently, but it’s too late now. There is no use. Let’s forget about it.”
*Tebo Moaga
“When you rent a place, what you seek most is security and it is not often that you think you can be raped in your own surroundings.
What started as a wine tasting turned into a nightmare that I often wish I could wake up from. But then again it is not a nightmare it is a reality that I have to live with for the rest of my life. To even think he will never go behind bars because I let him be is even sickening.
I do not drink alcohol and I was not about to start. What happened on that fateful night will remain a mystery to me. A few sips of the wine in a glass marked the end of what seemed like a perfect life for me.
Next thing I wake up in this man’s house striped naked. I started wondering how I got there because the last thing I remember we were in my house, which I rented from him.
He was my landlord and he lived in the main house. He was a nice guy, or so I thought. He turned out to be a monster and I did not even have the courage to report him.
First my parents didn’t want me renting there and I assured them it was safe. I couldn’t stomach the ‘I told you sos’ and secondly I could not explain why I had to drink that wine when I didn’t drink at all. There was the man who dehumanised me acting all cool like nothing ever happened.
What do you say to a person who is like that?
I moved out, took my stuff and left, but the horror of that day still follows me around. Sometimes I find myself in this dark hole that I cannot get out of, and I become so numb that I feel like the walls are closing in on me. I do not know where to begin and where to go. I am just helpless and I feel so alone. I may tell you my ordeal, but you will never understand. Never…” *Names changed