Marriage types
Tumie Modise | Monday November 17, 2014 17:57
My last stop in the store was the food section. I found three men queuing up and promptly joined the queue. Now, every time when I am at one of these food stations, I always find myself admiring the men and women who dish out food to customers.
These people can easily be saints in my book, they are very patient! I always marvel at how when it comes to dishing out meat, they would take their time, go through every piece of meat and bone, sieve through and look for what I assume are ‘best pieces’ for their customers. Unfortunately, patience is one of many traits I was never blessed with and so it is hardly surprising that every time I observe this, I silently scream inside!
This even reminds me of family weddings and funerals. Whenever I am part of the caterers at these occasions, most of the time I bite my tongue- literally! Somebody please assist me with contacts of that one place where they offer lessons and therapy on how to deal with impossible guests and their often impossible and outrageous ‘special orders’! Who has not ever come across that one guest (underline guest), that very same one who, when offered a plate of food, with the courtesy befitting a Buckingham Palace cat, make a face then purrs, “sorry, ga keje nama ya kgomo ke ja nama ya koko kana ya podi fela”.
Now, what would life be like if one just ignored the offensive piece of meat and just ate everything else on the plate?
The worst have to be the ones at funeral wakes; serve them the usual Tea, Rooibos or Coffee, then listen to them demand Decaf coffee, Cocoa or Milo. Back to my encounter with the three gentlemen at this store, it so happens that as the lady was dishing out for one of them, the man objected, for some reason, but the one thing that caught my attention was when he said “tshola tlhe, tota hao tshola jaana ware otlaa nyalwa kemang?” (if this is how you dish up, your prospects of marriage will forever be slim). I was stunned.
Biting my tongue and cursing quietly, I moved on to the next aisle and abandoned the takeaway food mission. Walking from a potentially explosive situation is a basic commandment at anger management classes, on this occasion, I applied it.
Today I am once more reminded of that conversation because, once more, it is a topic of discussion at one local radio station.
By our very own nature, Batswana never have qualms asking questions I consider very personal and intrusive!
Once you complete your studies and start working, the all too common question for both males and females would be when they intend to walk down the aisle.
Once you take the plunge (more often just to get them off your back), they’re still not done with you and the next question would be the embarrassing; “when are you having babies”? What if one answers, “tonight”?
Growing up, I also recall that this was one very familiar line and I never knew until some weeks ago that people still mentioned it. But such incidences I consider ‘intrusive’ seem to be part of our culture.
How many of us had at one point had to squirm in embarrassment at the ‘o nyala/nyalwa leng question, and if you were lucky enough to outgrow that question by actually giving in and getting married, how many have had to endure the most embarrassing of all- o tshola leng ngwana?” question?
Back to the food counter encounter. Walking away, I could deduce that the lady earned the question after she apparently didn’t dish enough meat for the gentlemen and for some reason, of all the things those men could think of was the lady’s marriage prospects.
This got me thinking, what is it that really influences men to finally want to take the plunge and get married? I wish there was a manual for that, because lately I even think the men aren’t so sure themselves!