Stop abusing women

Tumie Modise | Monday October 20, 2014 16:34

I could not wait until next month to write about that. In any case, gender based violence happens every single day and therefore deserves a mention on any day,  at any time. Granted, politics is stressful; even more so if you are a female, and even worse if you happen to be an African female. 

I have previously discussed incidents of women abuse but only in passing. Incidents of women and child abuse are discussed daily, with incidences of these cases being reported on widely by our media. Every day, one reads about a woman being maimed or killed.

 It does not help that newspapers, for the most part, merely highlight these incidences for the sake of reporting and not necessarily to condemn these barbaric acts.

Who can blame them? Civil society is just too quiet; women groups have simply gone on some unexplained leave of absence while our leaders can simply not be bothered anymore.The first thing I realised as I became politically active is that the odds of women succeeding here are almost next to none. But still, the brave ones soldier on. What most people don’t know is that the only weapon politicians often use against each other a are mind games, and the mind games are nothing but jabs laced with uncouth grammar.

Courtesy and respect are thrown out the window and politics are becoming more and more attractive to respectable members of society such as; traditional leaders, counselors and even religious leaders!

Last week, a woman found herself at the centre of a bitter row between male political rivals. It just so happens that the man at the receiving end was her former husband and worse, a paramount chief in one of the villages in this country where the incident took place.

The little information available is that as usual, the charged up politicians were merely just doing what politicians do every day at freedom squares; discrediting their opponent. Only this time, they did this while the lady was in attendance. The big issue is that the lady is a possible accessory, that she just sat there and did nothing to ‘protect’ the man.

The greatest irony of it is that, more than a week later, the gentleman hasn’t admonished or even attempted to ‘protect’ his former wife from those insults, mostly insults from his very close buddies.

While I never condone freedom square expletives, this time around I am even more appalled a woman would be blamed for insults directed at her husband. For all we know, she did not like what was being said herself.

Yet, we still judge her; still we turn our guns on her. All the insults thrown at her (too graphic for this paper) suggest she was to blame.

I think this is plain cowardice. Not to be left out, fellow women (read cheerleaders), jumped in and threw in their own cruel insults. Not surprisingly, most of the insults bordered on the fact that the woman was recently ‘divorced’. Now the thing with Batswana is that when they want to really demean and insult you, the first thing they do throw in your marital status (single, divorced, widowed). Incredibly stupid, if you ask me.

We live in a country where a 40-year- old spinster or a 56-year-old confirmed bachelor has no qualms with labeling someone a useless divorcée.

We are a nation that just loves putting each other down, but we act surprised when we come tops in the world’s unhappiest nation poll. We even beat Zimbabwe, Iraq and Syria to the spot! Women will always be soft targets for cowards in this country and the most heartbreaking thing is, our children will soon think it’s normal and acceptable.

It’s 2014, yet we still have people who still think that a woman’s place is the kitchen or in the middle of some corn and watermelon field.

Isn’t it time women just grew a backbone and put a stop to all of this? Isn’t it time we stopped acting like victims: instead of worrying about clothes, hair, shoes and fake nails, stand up against these great injustices committed against us? Ladies, is someone even listening?

Moving on, over a hundred women will be contesting this year’s election this Friday. My guess is as good as anyone’s; once again only a handful will make it and once again 65% of the voters will be women.  Ah, I give up!