Is office romance acceptable, or not?

Keletso Thobega | Tuesday September 23, 2014 09:47

 

The two are said to have been forced to confess to having an affair. The lady, who is the man’s work senior, apparently had her salary cut, while the male was briefly imprisoned. To add salt to injury, the lady is reportedly heavily pregnant.  I found the steps taken against them drastic; if the report is entirely true. I suspect they are being sabotaged. It wasn’t mentioned whether their romance affected their work but with so much to do in the workplace, why would anyone develop such interest in two people’s love life?! 

Workplace romance is a touchy subject. Some companies and organisations have strict policies against office romance.  However, people are people, and when you are in the same space for a long time, you develop all kinds of feelings, some emotional or sexual. In workplaces, there would obviously be the odd flirting, acknowledging that someone is good looking or curiosity over what could be beneath those “nice fitting skinny jeans”, but that’s about it. In most cases, the office connections are just flings. 

However, some become serious. Given the amount of time most people spend at work, it is little wonder that some find their passion and excitement in the office. However, secret trysts in the boardroom and chance encounters in the lift can bring misery, as much as intrigue to your work life.  

While there’s nothing wrong with falling in love with a colleague, office romances are usually frowned upon because of issues of confidentiality and professionalism. What happens in one’s personal life often affects their quality of work and if your personal life is at work, then it can become problematic. There are also other issues that crop up, like allegations of misconduct, insecurities, jealousy and even fights.

The other challenge is being professional: avoiding too much touching and flirting and desisting from jealousy. Dating an overtly jealous and insecure person can be a headache, especially in the workplace. How will their reaction be when you speak to or laugh with the opposite sex? Ke gore gonna go lolwe fela. Ne o bua eng le Keletso? Ke eng o lebile Keletso? Wena le Keletso ne le tshega eng? Ijoo! 

Being discreet is key to an office romance, but how discreet is “discreet”? Sooner or later people find out. It’s also important to set boundaries on your life without upsetting anyone, except if you are an open book, of course. If you are going to confide in a colleague about your shenanigans, be prepared for it being public knowledge because people talk out there! 

When you start jolling at work, chances are you will become a source of gossip and entertainment for folk who have boring lives.  Soon, some people begin to stick their sweaty noses in your personal life. Office romance can also reveal personal exploits. While it could be harmless, it could also be used against you in the long-term, especially when the relationship doesn’t work out. A lot of exes tend to be very bitter over break-ups, and you wouldn’t know what a human being is capable of… 

If you are going to risk your career or reputation for someone, he/she should be worth it. 

We all approach our lives differently. I personally prefer to keep my work, social and family lives separate. I like order, and a peace of mind. While it differs with other people, I have never perceived work as a socializing ground and while I would be familiar with certain individuals, I prefer to conduct social interactions after-hours or on weekends, whether it’s over coffee or beers, and keep work-time interaction to a minimum.

But I guess it depends on one’s personality. When you are reserved, ethical and treasure privacy like me, you wouldn’t want some person hanging at your desk muttering sweet-nothings into your ear or being the constant subject of silly office gossip. What does that say about you?! Besides, staring into a lover’s eyes isn’t my idea of romantic… I prefer busy enterprising men: because often time, busy equals more money and an interesting life...

On the flipside, the success of any relationship is dependent on the maturity of the people involved. I know several lovers who met at work and their love is still strong. In such cases, I guess it’s true that love conquers all!