Let others lead small lives but not you

George Chingarande | Monday August 25, 2014 17:10

The limits of human ability may never be known in our life time. However, it is important for us to perform at the upper limits of our abilities daily: it is by constantly stretching ourselves to that limit that we improve and surprise ourselves.

Circumstances often  change and changing circumstances can easily interfere with our performance.  Mental strength is a quality that is necessary for continued peak performance. In this issue, we take a closer look at what it means to be mentally strong by looking at the things that mentally strong people do not do.

Mentally strong people do waste time feeling sorry for themselves:

 Life is not fair. It was never meant to be. What life will give you in abundance are opportunities to feel sorry for yourself. This may sound like a perfectly legitimate feeling but the truth is that it is a waste of time. Whenever you feel the urge to feel sorry for yourself, it is advisable to remember the words of Jim Rohn who wrote, “let others lead small lives, but not you. Let others argue over small things, but not you. Let others cry over small hurts, but not you. Let others leave their future in someone else’s hands, but not you.” When things turn out badly as they sometimes will, just say “next!” Because life is about dedicating oneself wholeheartedly to one’s next call to action, regardless of how the previous one panned out.  Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising up every time we fall. And the true measure of man’s success is not the height of the mountains he climbs, but how high he bounces after falling.

Mentally strong people do not cede away their power:

When you cede your power, you let other people run your life and define both your paths and where you shall go. This is a poor life strategy because everyone is busy attending to the weighty matters of their lives to fully invest in charting the best way for you. At best, people will empathise with you and try to guide you, but more often than not, when the lights go off they return to the weighty matters dominating their own lives.  Mentally strong people do not feel inferior or superior, for do they allow other people to make them feel that way. They are aware that they are not in competition with anyone but themselves. Your life’s assignment is not to be better than others but to be better than you were yesterday. This truth is often lost to us in this hyper-competitive world.

Charlotte Wrestling once said, “every morning in Africa a Gazelle wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the fastest lion or it will be killed…. Every morning a lion wakes up. It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a lion or a gazelle, when the sun comes up... you’d better be running.” When challenges come, mentally strong people do not shy away from them. They effect the necessary changes in their lives knowing full well that those  who embrace change will inherit success on earth. A man must do what a man must do. Those who wait for favours from the hand of life often perish before the favours arrive.

Mentally strong people do not resent other people’s success:

They enjoy and celebrate with them. When your neighbour succeeds, he becomes better equipped to contribute to your own enterprise. It is in your best interest to wish your neighbour well and to assist him. Take notes from your neighbor and learn from what made him successful but do not be jealous of him because you are not in competition with him. The universe has enough opportunities to accommodate yours and his ambitions, both your prayers and both your needs. Scarcity is just a disease of the mind that blights those who choose to live small lives. As Mark Twain said, “keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”

Mentally strong people do not repeat the same mistakes:

Karl Marx famously said, “history repeats itself; first as a tragedy and then as a farce”. Your life does not have to validate Marx’s jaundiced thesis. Mentally strong people are self reflective people.

They reflect dispassionately on what worked and what did not work; and then go further to discard what did not work and strengthen what worked. In this manner, they overcome the tendency to repeat the same mistakes. They do not dwell in the past: They learn from it and move on.

Mentally strong people do not waste their energy on things they cannot control:

There are things out there that you will never be able to control. You may like me or hate me, for instance, but you will never control what I think about you. At best you can influence it by the way you respond to me.

You may not like the weather, but don’t waste your time trying to control it. Just respond to it appropriately.  A mentally strong person strives to be kind and fair and to please others where appropriate, but is unafraid to speak up. They are able to withstand the possibility that someone will get upset and will navigate the situation, wherever possible, with grace. Your success might upset other people- learn to live with it. Some people will doubt your abilities- learn to succeed in spite of their doubts.

Mentally strong people do not forget that if it were easy, everyone would do it:

Champions are built brick by painful brick and that can take a lifetime. Sometimes it can happen without anyone even bothering to notice. Take heart: The mountains you climb can’t always be seen by an audience. Still, you must not stop climbing. For, in all their sophomoric hubris, whatever actions men take, or do not take, the mountain remains.