Be a rainbow to someone�s dark cloud
George Chingarande | Monday June 2, 2014 18:15
One key to progress in life is to find a giant on whose shoulders you can perch yourself. This can take the form of a formal mentor-mentee relationship, or it can even take the less formal form of studying the giant’s life and modeling your life in line with theirs.
The principle is that we can learn and we ought to learn from other people, especially those that have gone before us and navigated some of the challenges that we face. One such giant in contemporary times is Maya Angelou.
Who is Maya Angelou? She was a celebrated African American author, poet, speaker, civil right activist and a recipient of more than 30 honourary doctoral degrees. She was very successful at what she did, indeed so successful that at President Clinton’s inauguration in 1993 she was invited to recite her poem “On the pulse of morning”. When people talk of the successful Maya Angelou they often neglect to mention the odds she overcame and the difficulties she faced.
What are these odds and difficulties? At the age of eight Maya was raped and sexually abused by her mother’s boyfriend. Maya reported this and the man was arrested and jailed for only one day.
A few days after his release from prison he was found murdered. The little Maya was shocked and blamed herself for his death. She thought that if she had not spoken about the abuse he would not have died, and naively concluded that her opening her mouth to speak kills people. Consequently she became mute for almost five years. It was during this time that she developed the habit of reading extensively. With the help of a close family friend who was a teacher she regained her speech. As a teenager she became pregnant and had to struggle as a single mother. During that time she worked a number of odd jobs including being a street car conductor, a front manager of prostitutes, a prostitute and a cook. Given this background she could have made a shipwreck of her life but she did not. And because of that we can learn something from her. In this issue we will unpack some of her quotes.
Have a mission in life
Maya famously uttered the words, “ My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humour and some style.” Perhaps the reason Maya was so successful was that she kept her mission right before her eyes. To her life was not just about surviving. It was about thriving. It was not just about going through the motions but about accomplishment. All of us can benefit from such an attitude. Our careers, our relationships, our enterprises will never be the same if daily we bring to the fore the attitude that frowns at doing and accepting the barest minimum but goes for broke in search of the gold in our lives. Furthermore, the style and the attitude that we bring to our endeavours is important. In times of difficulties and in times of great victories we can always do it with passion, compassion, humour and style. Life is always kind to people that daily bring these ingredients to their endeavours.
Change is essential
One of my favourite quotes from Maya is, “We delight in the beauty of the butterfly but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” Add this to, “If you don’t like anything change it; if you can’t change it change your attitude. Don’t complain.” And “Nothing will work unless you do.” These three quotes put together teach on the importance of taking personal responsibility for your life. We all like the end results. We like talking of successful people and being associated with them and even envying them, but rarely do we take time to consider the sacrifices that they made to get there. Success is personal, and calls for personal sacrifices. Maya’s life is a testimony to this; she had to change from being a prostitute and a manager of them to being a great poet and writer. Each one of us will have to make certain sacrifices and certain changes in order to get to where we want to get to. The good news is that most people are aware of the changes they must make; and anyone who cares to know what changes he must make in his life in order to make progress will soon know them anyway.
Reciprocity is key.
Maya once said, “Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.” And also “Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.” Many people suffer heartbreaks when they finally realise after a very painful experience that they were dispensable options. To get the best out of people you should be prepared to reciprocate their love, effort and commitment. It is very painful to give your best years to an organisation and then realise at retirement or dismissal that you were only a dispensable option.
When employees also realise that the organisation treats them like dispensable options they will do less than their best. The key to success in relationships, be they personal or professional, is reciprocity. Try everyday to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud. There are too many dark clouds hovering over and vexing people’s lives. People are looking for rainbows. Be that rainbow to your customers, friends, colleagues and family and you will not go wrong.