The 'real problem' of being a female journalist in Botswana

Keletso Thobega | Monday May 26, 2014 12:07

 

The challenges faced by female journalists are bigger than being intellectually undermined, relegated to simply “lifestyle” writers, or being clamped in the stereotype of journalists being drunkards, promiscuous and happy-go-lucky entities. With regard to the latter, when people want you to be what’s in their mind, they will go to all ends to satisfy this idea because they think they know you based on vague impressions.

There is also a sense that women complain a lot. I for one have been called a cry-baby, a bitch, and God knows what else. I’m the least bit concerned because I know my truth.

However, that would affect any other woman especially one with a low self-esteem who takes crap to heart. That’s why in Botswana issues that affect women and matters of empowerment are swept under the carpet in our country.

Several studies and researches have asserted that Botswana is a sexist nation. It’s a shame that most women who break boundaries tend to be insecure and threatened by other women.

Some women have the ability to endear themselves to men and get along with them as brothers. Others don’t. I have worked in different fields and learnt that there are challenges one faces everywhere. In the media world here, the challenges are the same.

In the local media, it’s mostly men at the helm. I have met those who treat you respectfully as a human being, and those who see you and want to screw you. It’s as if you are not a proper woman if they have not spread your legs and wriggled atop of you.

It doesn’t help that some girls laugh at sexist jokes, smile at flirtations, lap up sexual advances and compete among themselves for attention from men.

There’s always an idea that to get opportunities one has to bang someone which I find silly and disrespectful to the talented and hard working women out there.

 I’m generally an easygoing yet reserved person. I have realized that when you are amiable and nice, people think that you are a flirt, of weak character or stupid.

In school and at home you are not taught to deal with sexism and overtly sexual advances. But it’s serious because as some women interviewed in Ditlhase’s article commented, there’s sometimes sabotage involved, particularly in work places.

I often feel sorry for women stuck in those situations and admire those who rise above them and focus on the bigger picture. Unfortunately, women in this country don’t always stick together. They may pretend but the bickering often crops up.

Some women are insecure and see each other as threats instead of allies. We could learn from men who enjoy an unwritten “brotherhood”. With regard to harassment it’s always easier to ignore advances and hope the person reads between the lines to note your disinterest.  To garner any sense of seriousness you have to put your foot down. This sometimes means telling someone where to get off.  When it’s older people it becomes a mission since we are taught to respect elders, but how do we respect them when they want to fornicate with us?!

I was recently bothered by an old man in the workplace. He is in his 50s; a married father. I ignored him because I imagined he’s “thirsty”, may be going through a mid-life crisis or is a habitual skirt chaser. Since I have experienced this before I employed my usual tactic of being polite and averting interaction that’s not work related.

Bessie Head once said giving a Motswana man the hitherto to look was asking for trouble. I believe her. Perhaps as women we have led men on, sometimes unknowingly. But how do you ward off stray men without being perceived as a bitch, sabotaged or seeming rude?

One respected successful woman once told me that being a woman comes with challenges in this world. To paraphrase her: ‘It’s like having menstrual periods; you eventually learn to live with it.’  

The problem is a vagina. If you have a vagina, you are in trouble; they will want it left, right and centre. The best we can do is pray for them. Boko Haram, bring back our girls and take all the sexist chauvinist horny fools, please!