The rat race!

Barolong Seboni | Friday May 16, 2014 18:00

“It’s the rat races, that is why marriages don’t last anymore. Every rat wants to get married because every other rat is in the race. So you get all these rats running in one direction and nobody knows, least of all themselves, where they are going and  when they are going to get there,” explains Nikita in his usual graphic and forthright manner. “In the end everyone is just a rat waiting for another race.”

“And you Nikita are the biggest rat of all because you won’t even get involved. In fact you are not a rat, you are a mouse! You are a mouse and not a man.

You have dug your little hole in the ground in your own little nook, and from there you watch the race through your little mouse-eyes, forgetting that there is a bigger cat watching you too and will swallow you as soon as you venture out,” says Ausi Maggie in between the serving of the drinks, then she pauses and straightens up to say: “maybe that’s why you won’t come out of your cocoon, you are afraid! That’s right, you are very afraid! ”

“What? Afraid of your cat? Don’t be ridiculous. That is just so ludicrous. How can I be afraid of a cat,” says Nikita dismissing Maggie with utter contempt.

“Yeah dude! I am a big bad cat. I am black and I’m real bad. I am the big black Kool cat and your ass is mine!” howls Mr Kool pretending to creep up on Nikita, to everyone’s laughter.

“No, Nikita is not afraid of the big black cat at all. Infact, he is not afraid of anyone or anything, that’s his strength. He is really afraid of himself, that’s his major weakness. He will not venture to look into himself because he is scared of what he might find.

That is why you won’t get married Nikita, that is why you are so cynical about relationships and intimacy. You are afraid of getting too close to yourself through the other person.

You are afraid of laying yourself bare and letting the other person look into your soul because that’s where the big black cat lives. And you can’t get to it and chase it away because you are not in touch with your inside, ”says Ausi Maggie.

“Hee hee! All these pedestrian theories of your pseudo-psychological analysis about my ego and alter ego! What is it all in aid of? Especially from a shebeen queen who, through her own admission, was a failure in her marriage!” counters Nikita, trying very hard to control himself.

“No, I’m not a failure, but I admit I was married to a deadbeat, deadwood. But I got rid of the bugger and that has made all the difference. The way to success is to recognise your failures and deal with them. “Deadwood” was a burden and I dumped him like a hot, soggy dumpling.”

“It is not generally my habit to engage in arguments about very personal matters with a shebeen queen in the presence of various and sundry drinkers.

But lest you should all be misled to think I have been put in a tight corner of a rat’s hole by your hostess here, let me end this argument by saying that you should never use marriage as a social indicator of success because this logically implies that divorce is a sign of failure in the eyes of the so-called society.

Second of all, I am more successful because I have been able to resist the social pressure that has inevitably come to bear on me since I got back from Eastern Europe 20 years ago.

Most importantly for me is the knowledge that it is much more difficult to be responsible for yourself and to look after yourself than to relegate that awesome responsibility to your wife or spouse, or whatever.

Marriage is the easy way out for a lot of people, and I don’t care for the easy way out,” replies Nikita, taking a sip of his vodka.

Then he continues; “You are more right than you will ever know Maggie. The black cat is not out there, it is within all of us… and I have chosen to confront it everyday all by myself, and I refuse to seek the easy way out by marrying anyone!”

Walkie carelessly grabs her Hunters Dry from the oblong table and says: “Heela rra, ira o nyale. Mo ga di philosophy is just delay tactics. Dira o nyale, just marry and allow us to eat drink, and be merry and then leave you to deal with it!”