I needed God to succeed in New York

Kaone Kario | Tuesday May 13, 2014 08:55

Modelling can be seasonal; the timing has to be right. We never really know when that will be. We have to wait for work, for that one stamp of approval from a photographer, or magazine editors that shoot that could be a catalyst to everybody using your image.

This is never comfortable for me. It is during these times that I dig deep and trust that it is working together for my benefit. I may not see it, but something is happening.

Black models aren’t exactly in high demand. You don’t get to see a number of them during the many fashion weeks that happen around the world. Better yet grab a copy of a leading magazine and pay attention to the lack of diversity.

The day I got the first stamp of approval I was on my knees, praying. I am convinced it was a warrior cry. I have had enough of the anxiety-ridden days. I wasn’t trusting and all I could see was what was not happening. I couldn’t see the many ways life was showing up for me. I had here, great friends and a deep sense of knowing that it will be ok. But I was having my own pity party.

I came from an audience that had approved my work Castings were breezy. I had it.

My work spoke for itself, so I thought. Is that a huge ego we hear? Hmmm! Well, New York humbled me. I couldn’t run through all these clients, no one knew who I was, no one cared about the work I had done in Africa.

I got to castings and hear, “ yes you have a great book (portfolio), but have you shot with anyone here yet?” I didn’t want to say, no. One had to create this grand idea of business or that I am standing there hoping that any one would be you, give me a shot, a chance, I am good.

On days like these, I had to leave castings a little wounded, the ego isn’t coping. I was not coping. I had to let myself feel the discomfort. It felt like starting over, and I thought that would be the end of me.

Models are very much aware of the short-lived nature of this career. There are only a handful that can do it well into their 40’s. It is mostly the 90’s supermodels that are still at it.

Times have changed, models aren’t really muses anymore. There are so many of us now, I am replaceable. I intend to get the most out of it while I can.

I was due for a do over, I was older, and I was wiser and stronger. I could take the highs and lows better.

I will say though, to those of you go at it early. Get management team behind you and fly, have a plan.

A girl can be in this industry for years and not work. No one thinking her look is right and then all of a sudden you see her everywhere.

It looks like it just happened, it didn’t, and it doesn’t.

So, here’s to you showing up for all the areas in your life, you know you could use a fresh start. Remember Jeremiah 29:11. You could prosper beyond your wildest dreams.

I could have never imagined I would experience all this, I enjoy what I do, and I know it won’t always be like this.