Politics at the funeral

Tumie Modise | Monday April 14, 2014 14:06

Winston Churchill once famously remarked, “Politics is not a game, it is an earnest business.” So really, it is understandable that even here in our country, local politicians have chosen not to leave anything to chance and in their quest for victory; every single one of them has joined the mad rush that is election campaigns. We know why politicians campaign but what really constitutes campaigns? In the yesteryears, campaigns mostly intensified a few weeks before elections and even then, the modus operandi largely consisted of a few branded t-shirts, rallies and intrusive home visits dubbed as ‘house-to-house’ campaigns. Again, back in the days, political parties appeared to be more important than individual candidates and many people got to know of the candidates only after elections. Even independent candidates (mekoko) were virtually unheard of!

Fast forward to today, today’s voter is totally different. Politicians have also realised that and proper adjustments have been made to keep up! While most of them have been sensible and savvy enough to reach today’s sophisticated virtual voter through the use of social media and other modern means, others still swear by the old fashioned campaign strategy of direct approach. It was during a funeral this past weekend that I got to witness the direct approach first hand. Just like with any other funeral, the programme started at the crack of dawn. From nowhere, a man hurried upfront and immediately started connecting numerous wires, almost disturbing the proceedings, which were already underway. But no one seemed to mind, not even the bereaved. Within minutes the public address (PA) system was connected and in use. The thing about funerals is that no matter which one you attend, just like tent weddings, they are always the same and very predictable too!

Soon the proceedings were over and by 8am we were already at the graveyard. I always carry a small canvas chair to the graveyard, all the time. Because for some reason, in our culture, once we get to the final resting place families usually find it very difficult to let go of the deceased persons, all kinds of tactics are employed at that stage to delay the burial. If it’s not digarawe tsedi lebetsweng ka bomo ko lapeng, it’s the shade net, the name patch or that preacher who just preaches on and on! But the moment we arrived at the graveyard, the PA system good Samaritan was now in full control! Clutching the mike with his hand and the funeral programme in the other, he was now the MC of the moment and in between barking at the mourners to hurry up, he was also leading in song! In no time, men of the cloth had completed their religious rituals and it was now time to cover the grave with dirt. As mourners began singing, the man of the moment soon dumped the mike and made a beehive for the grave where he wasted no time and started piling the soil right into the grave. Taking the spade from under the pile of dirt, he started filling in the grave. Nothing extra ordinary about that, except that while the other males were also doing the same, they were taking turns. Not our man. He just kept going on and on. At first I wasn’t even paying much attention to him, I only did when I overheard growing murmurs and giggles. In no time though, the cat was out of the bag; word around was that the good Samaritan was in fact, a politician just doing what he had to do, a katela lebitla ale nosi. Back at the deceased’s home, I wondered whether such ‘kind’ acts by politicians really get noticed and whether they even work. Are they even worth their trouble? Deep in thought as I left the bereaved’s home, I truly felt for the man. By now he was pilling up chairs and loading them into his truck. Shaking my head, I swore I would never stand for elections, rain or shine. Tired, I arrived home an hour later, only to be greeted by the usual pile of garden waste outside my gate. The recent rains mean it is now decomposed and it now stinks. I am just thinking aloud but one of my neighbours is also standing for elections late this year, by some coincidence, he too owns a truck...