Shee, ke fashion: Modern men and their skinny jeans!
Keletso Thobega | Monday April 14, 2014 12:15
Nowadays there’s a fashion trend among men that I cannot wrap my head around; they wear pants that are too tight! Apparently they are called skinny jeans/pants. Everywhere I go, I see numerous men wearing these tight pants. Worse is that some people don’t seem to realize that skinny pants look better on slim individuals; especially if you are going to tuck in your shirt. When you have extra lipids and flab, it looks odd, especially when the thunder thighs seem to ‘swallow’ the pants and the wearer struggles to walk properly without being forced to part their legs slightly at intervals so that the pants settle back to their original style. Motho wa teng o tla bo timpetse, a gagametse mo borokgweng e ka re bo tlaa thubega.
It appears proper fitting pants aren’t “cool” enough. Several years ago, baggy clothes were in fashion among male folk and the wearers, who were often hip-hop worshippers, (known as ma-cat), walked like they had defecated on themselves in their sagging pants. Nowadays tight pants seem to be the rave. How anyone can wear a clothing item that as good as crushes their crotch for hours on end in the name of fashion is one thing I will never understand. The fit, style and cut of these skinny pants are just wrong. They also inappropriately expose “parts”, if you know what I mean....I suspect it would be difficult to wear such ill-fighting tight pants with boxers or briefs. So the best thing is to go commando so that Jimmy is not restricted. For us onlookers this is an eye sore because the package stands out outlined like it’s desperately shouting out for attention, staring at the world, as if it’s exclaiming: Hello, howzit? Look at me bo-mabebeza!
To avoid the sometimes overwhelming temptation to peep at the outlined package of men in skinnies and subsequently giggle to myself, I often hide behind my large sunglasses in public. If not, I distract myself by furiously pressing on my phone or looking up and humming. I don’t want to be perceived as a pervert when my piercing glance lands on the tight pants wearer’s outlined package. Banna ba bangwe ba bogale tota. I once walked past a man dressed in those skinny jeans at a mall. His flier was open. Being the nice lady that I am, I approached him and courteously advised him to zip up his pants. Instead of thanking me, he threw a fit and angrily asked me what I was looking at ‘down there’ that made me notice that his flier is open. Uhu! Since then whenever I see a man’s flier open, I blink and instantly look the other way. I don’t want to be caught looking at men’s crotches. They might think that I’m being rude or salivating at their jewels. However, with these skinny pants guys habitually wear nowadays, it’s difficult for the eyes to avert from the crotch area; you don’t need to visually search...the whole package is just there!
I honestly wouldn’t be impressed if my man took to wearing skinny jeans. If ever he were to suffer from a fashion malfunction, I would rather it be him wearing Pepe jeans with takkies, or one of those hideous leopard print vests. Both are unforgivable fashion tragedies that would urgently make one top the wanted list of the ‘fashion police’, but goodness, they’re way better than prancing around in pants that squash the crotch and show off bulging private parts protruding for everyone to glimpse at!
It’s always a spectacle to observe how passersby, particularly women, tend to subconsciously stare fixated on the package, before hastily looking away in embarrassment. This is a constant guilt-ridden struggle for healthy hot-blooded females like myself because the sight can stir lustful feelings, and leave one entertaining fantasies, especially if the man is “handsome”.
That is the ultimate in social space erotica. Men often accuse women of dressing in sexually provocative clothing items, but they have also jumped onto the bandwagon. Wearing those very tight pants which outline the package, is as good as teasing and tempting ladies!