Gunners dictate the sacred laws of Botswana football
Staff Writer | Friday April 11, 2014 11:37
The first law is that any club that wants to avoid the dreaded relegation axe from the Premier League must finish above Lobatse giants, Extension Gunners. Mapantsula is the only side that has never relegated from the Botswana top division under its various guises.
From the look of things, this state of affairs is not likely to change in this millennium. So the surest way for all teams in the topflight to stay up is a finish above the peerless Gunners in any campaign.
The second sacrosanct law of Botswana football is that, any club making its maiden appearance in the topflight must never make the mistake of beating the Lobatse gunmen. Those who have defied the law have lived to regret the folly of their ways.
A win against Gunners for Premier League debutantes is the shortest route back to the dusty grounds of First Division football and even oblivion. The most notable casualty in this regard is a once excitable club from Selebi-Phikwe called Mosquito.
Doing business under the moniker of Monang (Mosquito) in Setswana, the side only won two matches in their only appearance in the Premier League a few years ago. They relegated the same year in a full speed free-fall that saw them punch through the First Division straight to district football, to no football and to oblivion. There are no prizes for guessing who was their victim in the only two wins they got in the Premier League and the source of their woes and demise.
The third sacred rule in Botswana football is that however, fancied a club is in a season, ‘do not pick a quarrel with a Gunners’ side fighting relegation in the last stages of the season. Title contenders, BDF XI and Mochudi Centre Chiefs can testify about this in the current campaign, while heavyweights Township Rollers know very well how they ended up in First Division football in the 1990s.
Thus escapology and last minute giant slaying is the stuff that makes Gunners tick. The football version of the spirit of Hungarian-American escapologist-cum-stuntman, Harry Houdini must be reposing in the Peleng Location of Lobatse, the birthplace of Gunners. The same can be said of Old Trafford when the legendary Sir Alex Ferguson was still boss.
In recent years, it is possible that the leading escapologists in world football are Ferguson’s Manchester United and Gunners of Lobatse. The difference is that Manchester United made Houdini proud under one coach unlike Gunners. The Peleng Boys uphold the spirit of the stuntman even if the coach has just been sacked by Mochudi Centre Chiefs for incompetence.
However, the great escapologists from Lobatse need to think carefully about their strategy in the league. It cannot be that the team only performs and makes mincemeat of fellow giants when its back is against the wall.
If they can save themselves from relegation against the odds, it means they can do much better in the campaign and win the title. The kind of grit, determination and solidity Gunners show when they face certain relegation should be liberally spread throughout the season to avoid heart-in-the-mouth matches in the dying stages of the season.
But first, Gunners may need to sort out their sponsorship hoodoo. It is still a mystery why a sponsor has not cashed on Gunners massive support to drive the team to greater achievements. Despite a jaded performance over the years and dalliance with relegation, the Peleng Boys can be relied upon to pull some of the largest crowds in local football. Imagine what would happen when Gunners transform from survival specialists to title winners or contenders. Hopefully, should Mapantsula go back to their glory days, Houdini will not desert Peleng for good. In that case, local football may be the loser because there will no more sacred laws to guide the game.