Beauty is in the eye of the �beer holder�
Keletso Thobega | Tuesday April 1, 2014 10:53
I was reminded of this last week when there was a hullabaloo over South Africa’s Public Protector Thuli Madonsela’s looks, particularly her huge “African” nose, in the media in that country. Madonsela is educated, smart, well-read and graceful but she’s not a conventionally good looking woman. I believe she knows that she’s not pretty. I have read several interviews of hers the latest in one magazine where she was asked to write a letter to her 16 year old self. She touched on being mocked about her looks. Her forehead is too wide and her nose too large. She’s also darker skinned.
It doesn’t help that in African communities being dark skinned is considered less beautiful in comparison to a lighter complexion. However, Madonsela didn’t let her being supposedly “ugly” hold her back from living her life; achieving her dreams and climbing the career ladder. Does it matter that she’s not pretty? No. I mean, she’s not a beauty queen...
Interestingly, looks are often an issue among women folk then men. I guess with men, if he’s moneyed or smart, it doesn’t matter. Akere gatwe monna ga a betlwe!
On the other hand, women go to desperate lengths to be perceived as beautiful. Women with a low self esteem especially tend to make looks a big deal. They are always hungry for affirmation and compliments. Oddly, even beautiful women have beauty issues. Actually, I have observed that the prettiest girls are often the most insecure!
Furthermore, some women seem to be in an unofficial competition over beauty and are obsessed with looks. It’s as if the measure of a woman is her looks...her supposed beauty. We really can be shallow! Look, I also notice people’s looks and acknowledge beautiful people, of both genders, because I’m visually stimulated. However, I pay more attention to people’s personality, intellect and character. There really is more to each person than their looks. Besides, people don’t choose how to look. If they did we would all be banging hotties!
It often strikes me how some people focus on appearance and everything else secondary. When I started as a writer/columnist locally, my picture appeared in newspapers. I had a lot to say but not everyone seemed to care. It was more about: How does she look. Some people said I look like a KYS (Koko ya Setswana). Perhaps I was supposed to be offended but I wasn't. I know I'm not beauty queen material and don't have qualms with that. I just smile, tuck in my tummy, strut my stuff; and live my life. I could be a make-up lathering, ‘obsessed with looks woman’ if I wanted to. I can financially afford it, and have the arrogance to pull it through. But I'm not. I don’t see how that would fulfil me. I have other interests and looks play a small role in the bigger scope of my great life.
As I was pondering this and toying with the idea of blogging about our “obsession” with looks, I came across Tumi Modise's Diary of a Beautiful woman article in the Mmegi Monitor. How shallow, I thought when I saw the headline. So this lady is going to write about how beautiful she is? Ok! I read the entire article and in the end appreciated her effort in making the reader understand how life is for a beautiful woman; the compliments, competition, jealousy, envy... and everything in between. For example, we all know that most ugly girls hate on pretty girls. Even ugly men develop complexes about handsome men. It is human nature. But in the bigger scope of things I don’t believe looks matter as much as we make them. More so that it won’t affect the price of oil!
On a lighter note, I’m reminded of some gentleman who apparently picked up a girl at a bar on a night out. As some of you know, at night all people seem to look beautiful especially when one is inebriated from sipping the golden waters. The man’s friends commented that he had chosen an ugly girl. The man whoever didn’t seem to care! He was besotted with this gregarious girl who made him feel good. He waved his bottle at his friends and slurred: ‘Don’t worry gents; beauty is in the eye of the beer holder!’ Ok well, beauty is rather in the eye of the beholder!