Stop Tolerating Your Dysfuntions
George Chingarande | Monday March 24, 2014 15:15
They kept trying but kept hitting against the top. With time the grasshoppers learnt to leap to a height that corresponded to the height of the container. This habit served them well. It saved them the pain of having to hit against the lead.
After a while the scientists removed the lead. To their amazement the grasshoppers had become dysfunctional. Although there was no lead to stop them the grasshoppers kept leaping just to the same height as they used to do when the lead was on. In essence the grasshoppers had developed a handicap which limited them to the previously prescribed height.
In another experiment a donkey had a leash put in his neck and then tied to a tree. The leash determined how far the donkey could go. His life was centered on the tree and the leash.
He would see other donkeys and long to do what they did, but the leash defined what he could do and not do. Soon the donkey became accustomed to a life of limitations. After many months the leash was cut and the donkey was freed. However, the donkey did not gallop away to enjoy his new found freedom. Instead he continued his ritualistic and routinised existence around the tree. Like the grasshoppers the donkey had also developed a dysfunction.
These two experiments have much to teach us as human beings. In this issue we will focus on the habit of functioning in a dysfunctional environment. The donkey did not find itself in the leash by its own design. To the contrary, the leash was imposed upon it. The grasshoppers also did not choose to be captured and closed in a container. The capture and what followed were unfortunate incidences in the lives of the grasshoppers. However, in either case, a dysfunction was forced upon the victims and they became handicapped. Initially the handicap was just a physical limitation but by the end of the experiment, it had also become a mental handicap.As people go through this journey called life they sometimes come across experiences that impose limitations on them. These limitations if not dealt with properly can give birth to mental handicaps and serious consequences. People, just like the grasshoppers and the donkey, can learn to function in their dysfunctions. They learn to do things in a limited way since doing so works well, at least initially, as a survival strategy. However, the problem becomes worse when what started as a survival strategy soon becomes a permanent handicap. This is even worse with certain habits that people develop, neither because of the need to survive nor for any good reason.
There are people for example who would like to quit smoking because they appreciate the deleterious effects of the habit, but because they have learnt to function with this dysfunction, they never make a serious effort to quit.
There are also people who are poor but have so learnt to function in their dysfunction that they never make serious efforts to break free from the clutches of poverty. Similarly, there are people that are in a serious debt trap but keep on doing the same things that ushered them into the trap in the first place. The reason is simple. People learn to function in a dysfunctional situation and become so addicted to it that they lose sight of the fact that they ought to be fighting to come out of the dysfunction. When opportunities to rid themselves of the dysfunction arise they either fail to see the opportunity or are so accustomed to their new comfort in a discomfort that they take no action.
The primary agenda of anyone in a dysfunction should be to come out of it. However, it is not uncommon to hear statements such as, “I have always been like this”, “I have always had this addiction”, “I am used to it and I have developed a thick skin.” There are many things that people will say to defend and rationalise, but the simple fact remains that they are in a dysfunction and they need to walk out of it.
To walk out of a dysfunction one ought to realise that you cannot change what you tolerate. At the beginning of a dysfunction one is so uncomfortable that one tries to break free just as the grasshoppers would try to leap out and the donkey would try to run away. The problem comes when our initial attempts to break free are frustrated. A prolonged season of frustrated efforts leads to disillusionment and cynicism. As long as cynicism and disenchantment are entertained, they breed surrender. Surrender results in people quitting the attempt to try. If the donkey had not quit trying, the day the leash was cut he would have galloped away. Likewise the grasshoppers would have leapt to freedom.
When you tolerate your dysfunction you also learn to settle for anything less than the very best possible outcome. One way of defeating your dysfunction is to push for the very best everyday and in every circumstance. The nature of breakthrough moments is that they do not announce themselves beforehand. You never know when they will come, but if you keep pushing for the very best everyday sooner rather than later your efforts will be rewarded. Most people that are functioning on dysfunctions are obsessively preoccupied with the current state of affairs. They focus on what they are, or what they are not instead of focusing on what they could be. It is not too early to fight your dysfunction; and it is also not too late to become what you could be. However, you will never be a true success for as long as you continue to tolerate your dysfunctions. Do not allow one or a few bad experiences in life make you settle for anything less than the best.