A request to Mmuso � May I please have a blanket? A special one with eyes and legs...

Keletso Thobega | Monday March 24, 2014 02:45

They may also be bitter because you have never offered them dikobo...your famous blankets.

Right now you’re being fingered in the electricity crisis. Don’t they know that wena you know nothing about electricity. Those mandated to deal with the electricity supply have failed us. (rest assured that electricity shortage is a global problem). Those who created the problem here have run away and retired.

They squandered the money with their Chinese cronies instead of planning ahead. Now we’re left with that near white elephant called Morupule and you are left with the humungous task of cleaning up this mess. This is all stressful; you’d rather be donating blankets than worrying about load shedding. Don’t they get it?!Moving right along...  Oh kind Mmuso, I would like to make a plea – may I please have a blanket? A special one with eyes and legs! Winter is around the corner by the way...

It’s widely known that on a certain occasion you visited one village and as usual the residents were happy to see you.

After the speeches you apparently invited residents to present their grievances or pleas of assistance. I guess this was in keeping with your “caring” nature. One after the other the audience stood up to speak. As you know, some Batswana  tend to get carried away when they are excited, and lose tact; they don't know what to talk about where! One woman reportedly raised a grievance seemingly shared by other village ladies. She cried: Mongngame bo rre ba rona ba gana ka dikobo. Fa re ba kopa dikobo baa re di tima!

You probably felt bad and couldn’t understand why these men were being selfish. Dear Mmuso, ever the generous one calmly responded: Ee batlang dikobo e tle mo go nna. Ke tla lo fa dikobo! With that there were gasps, giggles and whistles and ululations. Ha!

 I suspect that woman inspired the 'blanket phenomena” because since then Mmuso has been donating blankets left, right and centre. Mmuso especially makes sure to give to old ladies because their men aren’t forthcoming about giving them dikobo. Wena you give free blankets, with a big smile and warm heart.

Anyways, seeing what Mmuso is capable of, I thought: hey, why not ask for a special blanket. One that doesn’t itch or cause rashes....Not a lepai or tonkana...This special blanket will have eyes and legs. But no yap, yap... You just pick it up when you need it and put it aside in the morning. I also don’t want to share the blanket. I hate sharing! I believe what’s mine is mine, not “ours”. Besides, these blankets that are borrowed to each other, passed around, and 'visit' many beds, bedrooms, floors and sometimes cars and forests end up worn out and contaminated. I don’t want germs...le bo superbug!

I request your assistance since you dear Mmuso, are magical. You are known to be able to turn into a fly and even summon the rains. Look what happened recently after those national prayers you spearheaded?! It's a pity we can’t pray for electricity. That one would be a prayer and a half; it would have to include national fasting and beer and coital pleasure deprivation!

I understand you passed by my hometown Lobatse on Saturday. Apparently your gracing the shanty town was an occasion to behold. There was also a supply of electricity and water – basics that have become luxuries there. To add icing to the cake, Gunners beat the green boys, and Chiefs kicked the pie-rats to the curb with a one nil wallop. Heee, you carry blessings Mmuso!

It’s a pity I wasn’t there. I would have shoved past the excited crowds to shake your hand and make my request. It’s said: Kopa o tla fiwa, kokota o tla bulelwa. Here I am making my request for a special blanket. Thank you in advance!