A change of topic
Barolong Seboni | Monday March 3, 2014 14:46
Smooch thinks that one other way that citizens can get their money’s worth is if the sporting facilities at the MPs village were open to a few more people, like the honourable maids and the honourable gardeners of the honourable MPs.
In fact it should be such that these honourable members of the parliamentarian support services should be permitted to bring along members of their extended families.
For as long as they can vouch for their health, Smooch doesn’t really see any problem with maids or gardeners bringing members of their families for a dip in the pool and a spot of tennis in the court.
“If we are serious about a healthy nation by 2016 then we should start now,” he says. “Swimming and tennis are the best and healthiest means of exercise. Legale ga re itse because we don’t have them in our two-roomed SHHA plots!”
“I can see the value of letting out pools and courts to the extended family. It will have a multiplier effect where each member of the extended family teaches another to swim or to play tennis. The beauty is that it will trickle down to the lower classes if we let the maids in. Gape it’s good for the classes to mix, man. The honourable ones should relax with their maids and servants!” concurs Nikita.
“Hau! Haven’t they been mixing already?” says Walkie feigning surprise.
“Maybe they have, but I’m just saying it should be more open and in broad daylight!”
At that point Chicken, who is now known as Cock in some circles, comes in with more huff than puff and announces that he wishes to convene an urgent meeting regarding “a delicate matter of a position on the committee of the Tsogang Banna Association.”
Nikita, who is not known for his diplomacy, confronts him right there and then and blurts; “Katle pele wena, wait a minute there comrade. Do you even have the money to butt in like a ram in heat and then change the topic? If you want our mouths to leave what they are saying and concentrate on what you want them to discuss, then you must wet our throats and moisten our lips! Everyone who is someone at the Nitty Gritty knows that golden rule. You must have the wherewithal to change the topic.”
“The what?” asks Chicken/Cock, looking quite exasperated by all this shebeenly red tape.
“It is not the what, it is the where!” insists Nikita.
“And our man Chicken/Cock looks like he neither has the ‘with’ nor the ‘all’!” someone shouts.
“Well, I am here and it is now and that’s all,” responds Chicken/Cock quite unfazed. “We have to address the issue that I bring before you, otherwise the association will have no more funding from our sponsor and secret benefactor!”
“What? No more funding? Hei banna, that sounds serious. Kana that means no more drinks and snacks during our meetings. Ah, magents we better change the topic right now and address this new issue. It looks like the future of the Tsogang Banna Julle Bliksem is bleak!” says Smooch.
“Yah! As bleak as a dry throat.”
“Ware dry throat? Hei you guys never think beyond your throats, do you?” says Walkie sarcastically.
“Wena Walkie you want to spoil my business,” complains Ausi Maggie. “Where there is a dry throat I thrive so leave it alone!”
“Ijoo, askies mma! I am sorry for plastic plastic.”
“Back to the matter at hand, ware what’s the problem monna Chicken. We cannot afford to let the association die a natural death like that one!” continues Smooch. “Infact, it is an unnatural death because it would be death by suicide and neglect.”
Then after much mumbling from the rest of the fellowship there present and imbibing, Chicken/Cock the strongman-chair of the association of the men, took center stage and delivered his report on the state of the association.
He was extremely concerned that the sponsor had noted that the secretary of Tsogang Banna was a woman when the constitution clearly states that all executive positions will be held by men. The matter was thrown to the general membership after the letter was read out.
“Ag man, this thing is like making a mountain out of an anthill.
She is not even a real secretary anyway. She is just a recording secretary!” notes one chap from near the front door. Then another fellow next to him says; “I’m sure it’s not about the position. I think the important thing is the sex of that position I mean…the position of the sex…whatever!”
“The correct word is gender.”
“Yes, I was coming that way. This thing should not be about the gender of the sex, or whether men in our committee are on top of the women. This thing is about the spirit of doing it together whether men or women! It has nothing to do with sex.”
“Okhokho, a reng tota yo?”