I hate these results, but also like them

Bame Piet | Thursday February 27, 2014 16:40

Some are going to start joining us in the labour market, offloading trucks full of cement bags, brick moulding, and even house break-ins. The results for maForm Five are out.  Just a few months ago they were school-going kids, everything provided for them from underpants to dark sunglasses and baseball caps.

They were smart children who asked for money from their parents to buy carbon dioxide, chlorophyll, photosynthesis, and other stuff for study purposes.  The kids also had a choice to wear labels like Adidas, Nike, Levis, Puma and others, for they were Form Five students.  All their demands were complied with and no questions, queries whatsoever were raised to them.

I hate the results because they bring more havoc to our already miserable lives. The results mean that there will be this guy sleeping all day at home, waiting for month end for us to feed him. They mean that some guy is going to request money to look for ‘school’, work, or money to buy a carton of chibuku and a cigarette.  Even worse, the results mean that there are additional two or more new members of the gang that terrorise my neighbourhood.  The results could also mean a new member in our chibuku circle, and a cigarette beggar. I’m tired of hearing; ‘eish brazen, tla ke chae puff e one da’. I want to enjoy my stuff without disturbance. Infact, I hate these results with a passion. There should be no results at all. Children should go to school and not write any exam whatsoever. 

A few days ago, there was a party in my neighbourhood, a few streets from my house. The dwellers live in a big house, behind a big wall,  and they have big dogs in addition to their big cars. They were celebrating that their kid got an A Spar, whatever that is. I can’t even afford to buy at Spar and they celebrate their kid getting an A Spar?  The smoke from their braai, and their loud music kept us awake for a while.  Their laughter was also big. We took a walk past the screenwall hoping to catch someone’s attention, but that was not possible.

I remember that when I was growing up there was only A, B, C and D. The symbols were straightforward and self-explanatory. With a D, we knew that the child was a reject.

This is why our society has reservations whenever Ds are mentioned. In fact, we continue to hate Ds even today. Whether the Ds are a roadmap or what, we hate Ds - finish and klaar.  All bad things start with a D – doom, demon, doomsday, devil etc.

Now, these days we hear of children who got a U, just what is wrong with these results? Can’t you people just go back to our old ways of doing things and have a grading system of A,B,C,D.  We don’t want to hear that a student who got a D has proceeded to a higher level. Hell no!

Civilisation has brought more harm than good. We shouldn’t allow civilisation to take away our norms just like that. The A,B,C,D was part of out culture, and we must stand up and defend it.

In the past we had so much respect for maForm Five. I remember those days when maFormFive from my village were big shots. They wore beautiful clothes, immediately worked for government, and listened to foreign music. Infact, maForm five introduced rock n roll, reggae, hiphop music in our villages. They wore tight jeans, jean jackets and big hats associated with cowboys. They were cool.  They also had radio sets, which they carried around playing  music, and we envied them. When a family had a Form five child it automatically gained respect.  Even a local chief would not dare prosecute a leForm five no matter what their crimes were.  It was simple and straight forward, they were an educated lot and could embarrass the chief.

We used to watch fights involving village boys who felt maForm Five were snobs, accusing them of taking their girls. The village boys said maForm five think the world revolved around them.

But there is something I like about the recent results. I got a call from Uncle Sporo in the middle of the night.

I almost ignored the call because of his tendencies of calling me anytime of the night to talk about stuff back home. For instance, Sporo would call to inform me that he was planning to buy a new donkey cart.  For some reason, I always feel compelled to take his calls.

Uncle Sporo sounded over the moon about the results. “My dugudugu has passed with flying colours, she is going to university”.  I was baffled as to what, or whom Uncle Sporo was talking about.  “Ao, you don’t know?” he asked.  “I have a big girl, and she was writing exams last year. Her mother called this afternoon to share the good news. I think I should invite her to meet her cousins”. 

I have never been informed of this cousin, that Uncle Sporo was so proud of.  I am looking forward to meeting my cousin since she is the first in our family to progress to Form five. Indeed there should be a family meeting where we should welcome her.

This could be a new beginning for Uncle Sporo, as he will finally earn respect from some family members who often cut him short whenever he attempts to comment in family meetings.  I remember the other day he attempted to comment, and this rude cousin of mine told him to back off.