Homosexuality and machoism are a threat to African masculinity

Keletso Thobega | Friday February 21, 2014 12:27

The low risk lifestyles afforded by surplus resources in the modern world have changed our lifestyles and values. We have a generation of men with too much oestrogen who act like girls, or beat up, rape, kill and hurt women. The era of ‘alpha’ males is over; men don’t need to hunt, slay dinosaurs, or conquer enemies on battle fields etc, so there’s no need for that primitive perspective of masculinity, perhaps. Instead, we’re inundated with machoists with low self-esteems and fragile egos. They settle scores with punches, are philanderers, transsexuals in stilettos and secretly misogynist gays. Pardon my love for conspiracies, but I vehemently believe the rise in homosexuality is orchestrated by West imperialists who use unsuspecting individuals to equate ‘freedom’ and ‘liberalism’ with immorality and senseless self-derision. The ever-increasing number of men proclaiming to be sexually/romantically attracted to other men in our social landscape is disturbing. It’s not only a sign of a crumbling social system and psychological problems, but an agenda instigated by negative agents hell-bent on emasculating our men. It started during colonialism when black men were forced to leave their homes and families for cities, factories or mines to eke a living. It happened again post-colonialism when modern culture reflected the Black man as a criminal and alcoholic-always-trying-to-get-laid-having-kids-everywhere-but-can’t-care-for-them-irresponsible-loser. It’s a ploy to undermine our people, create gender dichotomy and annihilate the fibre of the black familial institution. 

In the 21st century, the value of a man is the size of his wallet while a broke man is perceived useless. When a poor man speaks, people will mummer, “A re gorileng tota o ditlhako di sokameng yo!” It doesn’t matter how intelligent or wise he is. This can make men feel inadequate. Then we act surprised when men worship money and assume it can get them everything in life. (Well it can get you some things, just not everything...) Furthermore, more women are not only bringing the bacon home, but taking on leadership and decision-making roles in workplaces and households. Although some men pretend to be appreciative of influential or materially-successful women, there’s often an element of insecurity and bitterness towards these women. The inadequacy complex, jealousy and resentment often reflect as sexism. 

When the girl child was empowered, males weren’t taught that females are equal (not the same) and free to revel in their individual identities without necessarily being subservient or submissive.  The modern woman is more assertive and this infuriates some men who aren’t used to be challenged, never mind by women. In the work domain there’s no way about it, but socially, men tend to ostracize these women. I have overhead some men say: These so-called modern/independent women will marry their money, jobs and education. It’s a bit of a problem because yes, some women appear cheeky, for the simple reason that they are independent minded, assertive and at times confrontational. This goes against past cultural convention where a man inconsiderably does what he wants. Even if he cheats, shacks up le nyatsi, ignores his children, boozes, beats you up or behaves like a jerk, we accept it because he’ll come around. Modern women don’t have time for that rubbish. This confuses men who’ve perhaps seen their own mothers, aunts, sisters, etc tolerating crap and being praised for being “good women”. Total compromise was done by yester-year’s women because they were uneducated, economically disempowered, and their choices in life were limited. In this day in age, romantic relationships don’t last and divorce rates are high – power struggles and personality clashes come into play – men and women often fail to reach common ground. 

Many males in our communities grow up without fathers or positive male role models; they navigate life on their own. Added to that, traditional culture frowns upon men expressing vulnerability, weakness or confusion. The unwritten terms of masculinity dictate that a man must be ‘strong’. Being a real man isn’t about having a beard or deep voice, how many alcoholic drinks you can down, how many chicks you bang, how your fists fly or the six-pack you’ve chiseled. Men of value are smart-working, responsible and honest; have integrity, are respectful to others, and nurture and protect those around them. While I acknowledge the many great men out there who are wonderful fathers, lovers, husbands, uncles, and brothers, we still need to re-gain the respect of the Black Man as a Hero. The first step is introspecting on our definition of masculinity and averting foreign influence in the name of “modernization”.