Where is Uhuru? No Uhuru in Lobatse...

Keletso Thobega | Thursday January 30, 2014 08:05

This past weekend, the Lobatse “partying scene” was abuzz with excitement. It wasn’t over the usual kasi dissipation synonymous with “hotspots” like Dia-boa, the-Grand or Cumberland, where on weekends the golden waters flow like a perennial river, music booms non-stop and cider haggling cocottes mill about like ants. Fun-lovers were revved up because Uhuru of ‘y-tjukutja’ fame was set to grace the sleepy town. 

If you’re in the dark, Uhuru is a popular house music quadrant from neighbouring South Africa. I had initially planned to attend the show with friends but became wary when I learnt that the entrance fee is P50. I don’t attend cheap shows. It’s not that ‘I like things’...I prefer to have fun with little chance of bumping into folk with smelly shoes, gyrating among snotty-nosed youngsters wiggling their crotches into mine or being “mistakenly” hit with a beer bottle because “that guy was aiming at that dude but you were dancing in the bottle’s way”. Secondly, charging P50 for a crowd-pulling act doesn’t make savvy business sense. Ele gore how much did Uhuru charge?! How much did the organizers pay to rent the sound system? How much did they pay the other acts? Will they break even? How much profit will they make? 

I could smell a rat! 

It seems my suspicions weren’t too far-fetched because Uhuru was a no-show. A combination of some local DJs, plus our born-again brother Vee saved the night, as he had everyone eating out of the palm of his hand with an electric performance that will remain entrenched in attendees’ minds. But by the wee hours of Sunday morning there was still no sign of the house jockeys, Uhuru. A group of peeved off revelers are said to have left in a huff after patiently waiting for several hours, while others angrily pelted bottles onto the stage. 

 Lobatse folk can get rowdy. (Ask Fundi of RB2; he was once mobbed by football supporters who were incensed by something he had said about their team on air.) A gig in Lobatse attracts people from townships like Peleng,  Beirut, Woodhall and Huhula Panty. You don’t mess around with such folk; they can slice off your ear with an Okapi if you aren’t careful! 

The organizers should be grateful that they didn’t leave the venue oozing blood, especially since it’s not the first time this has happened in the town... 

Last year there was an Independence gig, which was headlined by Big Nuz, also from South Africa. I understand that revelers were constantly assured that Big Nuz members were on their way. At one point they were told that the group members were driving past Otse. However, by morning when revelers dispersed the performers had still not showed up. I don’t know which Otse they were referring to because the one I know is a ten-minute drive from Lobatse.

Several years ago, I first-handedly experienced a similar incident at the now defunct Zebra club. Popular Kwaito act Mzekezeke was set to perform at the stuffy venue, which was packed to the rafters with excited night crawlers.  Shortly after midnight, a morbidly obese man clad in overalls and a balanclava stormed, or rather, wobbled onto the stage. He was too fat, moved clumsily and was lip-synching. Before he’d completed his first song, a commotion ensued when irate revelers began to jeer at him. It was later revealed that the man beneath the mask was a fake!

Before you get tjatjarag, I must point out that it’s rare for artists to go AWOL when they have been booked. 

It’s either they weren’t booked or paid! I can bet Kalawa Jazmee management is unaware that Uhuru were billed to perform in Lobatse. Who’s fooling who?! I won’t paint all organizers with the same brush because I have attended several decent gigs around the country. However, it’s disturbing how Batswana are often treated like dimwits and swindled of their hard-earned cash by amateurs who want a quick buck. 

The scoundrels know that there’s nowhere to report them so they get away with pulling a fast one over unassuming revelers, more so that Batswana easily forgive and forget.

Eish, we are living in tough times. People will do just about anything to make an extra coin. 

O seka wa bona motho a ntshitse sekgono mo koloing wa tswa pelo. Tshokolo e ntsi. Some people shamelessly lie, cheat and steal to get by. They call it “hustling”...a polite term for thievery, perhaps?!