Of the beach party, half-nakedness, rape allegations and loose girls

Keletso Thobega | Wednesday December 11, 2013 12:20

This has caused outrage, with some quarters claiming that it contributes to moral decay in our country. Since its inception, this event has been met with mixed feelings, with conservatives dubbing it a ‘bitch’ party, apparently because it’s a hive of seedy behaviour.

As a landlocked country, we don’t have a beach therefore the idea of people partying in beach garb is alien to most people, particularly traditional or rural folk who aren’t accustomed such things. I think contention emanates from the dress-code. I’ve been to beaches and often go swimming at local lodges and hotels. You can’t swim or hang around the pool in say, your jeans. Re tlhola re ntsha dirope, megodu, metlhagasedi le mekwatla. It’s OK for that environment...

At a beach party it’s expected for girls to be clad in bikinis, shorts, bare-backs, sarongs etc, showing off perky boobs, protruding buttocks and thighs. Even the confident flaunt their podgy bellies, stretch marks or hot-wing arms. Guys also prance around showing off their chiseled abs or beer bellies. Add to that thumping music and booze, and you have a bawl! Although I’m way past the age of gallivanting at parties, I think its good entertainment for youngsters (and oldies who can’t accept that they are grown-ups).

Although I’ve caught heed of rumours of incidents of public sex, lunatic behaviour, fights and stabbings etc at the party, I’m in no position to clear the air about that. I rather want to touch on reaction to unconfirmed reports of rape incidents that have set tongues wagging.

When I went through several posts across social networks, out of curiosity and to find clarity on the matter I was surprised by how many people stated that girls who attended the event are mostly ‘bitches’ and deserved to be raped because they were strutting around half-naked.

Look, people don’t necessarily get raped because they are dressed a certain way. Babies, grannies, women in long dresses, men get raped...no one is safe...In a country with a rape endemic and escalating cases of violence and abuse against women, we still have a long way to go in challenging primitive mentalities. We can’t justify rape, or any form of abuse.

On the other hand, just because people don’t report issues, does it mean they don’t happen. Some people don’t report certain incidents due to fear, shame, trauma or ignorance. Rape is not the victims’ issue, or a women’s problem. It’s a societal concern. You don’t have to be raped nor have your loved ones raped to comprehend the enormity of the matter.

Our attitudes contribute towards the abuse of women in this country. The more we justify unsavoury deeds, the more we give losers lee-way to perpetuate crimes.

On the flipside, there’s a principle in law: volenti non fit injuria, which means voluntary assumption risk. We can’t justify beastly acts but fact remains that there are a lot of dodgy characters out there. As a woman, there are men who will look at you with shameless lust. Such men are likely to “playfully” touch women indecently or molest and rape them. With some it’s not even sexual desire, but resentment or anger over unresolved issues with the female species. You can’t change such a human being (probably an animalistic ill-bred idiot who never had the ‘bird and the bees’ chat with his daddy). It’s better to avoid them and apply precaution.

Imagine sexy you in a flimsy attire, sipping your cider and dancing happily among a sea of drunken, excitable males, some of who are tipsy or have been snorting or smoking illegal substances; that’s a recipe for disaster. You may be having harmless fun but you are bound to attract jerks. Would you walk through a forest known to be home to wild animals and when you spot a lion think: It has no right to eat me...I’m just taking a stroll...? Men should control their raging libidos, yes, but some women seem to enjoy the wrong kind male attention. Their self esteem is seemingly affirmed by being “admired” and “approved” by strange men. Don’t trouble trouble before trouble troubles you.

The issue here is not the beach party, but our collective morality, mentalities and the choices we make!