Porn and Materialism killed Romance!
Keletso Thobega | Tuesday November 26, 2013 15:45
Some people shamelessly get away with being promiscuous, shallow and materialistic. We live in a capitalist world where we and thrive on empty relations governed by: what can you do for me, what can I do for you. Welcome to the era of shameless vanity, soulless individualism, utilitarianism, economic egoism and the cash nexus – where you can buy almost everything from a car to drugs, to sex to an election – you, got the money, bru? You got it!
Sex is now a consumerism act and love has been commercialized. Sexual opportunism threatens monogamy and love. Many people choose the easier aspects of relationships, which are companionship and stability and ignore the difficult and seemingly tedious aspects, which are compromise and fidelity. It doesn’t help that everywhere you look there are “porn stars” – on television, social networks etc; Girls half dressed, with pouted lips, seductive poses and looking ready for “it”. Men showing off flashy cars, booze and cigars – the delights that come with having money to burn...with fake-macho appeals, their glazed eyes looking like they’re stripping you with a glance...
Popular culture and mainstream media has peddled sex as the goal, love as a luxury and material amassment as a status and ideal – it doesn’t matter what you’ve done for mankind; it’s what you have, that’s important, so we hoard and flaunt. When you have material items you develop a complex and begin to think you’re better than everyone around you.
Our sexually charged society has birthed a generation of individuals who derive satisfaction from conquest prowls, mindless sex and material goods. Ready-made things are the norm. You can have a meal in five minutes and a “relationship” too. Hey, forget relationship – you can get ‘em to bed in two minutes flat! People aren’t willing to put in the time and effort to know each other and court. They rather look at appearance, clothes, job titles, material items and hurriedly reach conclusions. There’s no serenading or wooing someone. Le banna ba malatsi a ga ba sa phosha, kooteng fa a tsere mogala o ipheditse. O tla makala gopane a go bitsa ‘baby’. Chivalry as we know it is on the brink of death. Many men are nice and polite to ladies, to get something, which most times is, sex. I’m wary of randomly “nice” men. I don’t want some man trying to screw me because he feels I owe him for being “nice”. Many women have had the experience of a man helping with something, complimenting her appearance or just being polite, and soon he’s hitting on her. Chivalry is a prelude to concealed prostitution...if you receive the gifts, go on the dates, ride in the car etc – you’ll have to “pay” indirectly... the cookie has to crumble...
Women aren’t any better because they often want a man for what he has. When a guy is broke few women give him a second look but as soon as he’s in the money bitches flock to him like he’s Jesus reincarnated. Look, even I’m not going to stick with some dead-beat man but I’ve dated broke and rich guys, and discovered that essentially people are just people. Sometimes he can have a well-paying job or businesses, drive top-of-range vehicles, live in a lavish house, move around influential circles, dress the part and appear to be “all that” but you find that he sucks in bed or isn’t affectionate or humanely open - you can’t even laugh and fool around with him or get too close baby because you’ll wrinkle his well-pressed Gucci shirt!
Unfortunately in some instances material items cannot compensate for other inadequacies....
Money is good when preceded by happiness. But then again as an acquaintance often says: Happiness is subjective; and you can’t eat, wear or drive it...
What is romance in our time? Sentiment, empathy, kindness, charm and fantasy...what to the common would be perceived as fiction because it’s so good! Perhaps romance isn’t big anymore because it requires effort and emotional honesty, and is a time and energy consuming task. Romance may not be dead and buried yet but it sure is gasping for air!