Women must pick red flags, choose life
Mmegi Editor | Monday November 16, 2026 06:00
“Whatever you do, never run
back to what broke you”
– Frank Ocean
The growing number of love-related killings is deeply troubling. Behind every murder is a life lost, a family shattered and a future cruelly cut short. While society continues to condemn perpetrators and call on men to respect life, we must also have an honest conversation about recognising the early signs of abuse and knowing when to walk away.
Too often, warning signs are overlooked, excused or tolerated in the name of love. What young people commonly refer to as red flags may initially appear harmless, but controlling behaviour, excessive jealousy, threats, intimidation, humiliation and physical violence should never be dismissed simply as signs of affection.
There is nothing romantic about a relationship in which one partner constantly lives in fear of the other. We are particularly concerned about relationships characterised by repeated fights and physical altercations, only for the same couples to reconcile the following morning and appear happier than ever. The cycle continues, sometimes escalating from verbal arguments to physical violence, until one incident ends in tragedy.
Women must understand that an apology after violence does not necessarily mean the danger has passed. Promises to change should never be allowed to overshadow a pattern of abuse. On daily basis we report about cases in which women have been killed by their partners and our message is simple: It is okay to walk away. It is okay to start again. And, it is perfectly okay to be alone.
No relationship is worth losing your life over. No amount of love, financial support, companionship or years invested in a relationship should compel anyone to remain where their safety is constantly threatened.
We must also challenge the misconception that leaving an abusive partner is a sign of weakness or failure.
On the contrary, recognising that a relationship has become dangerous and taking steps to protect oneself is an act of courage.
However, we must be careful not to place the responsibility for these killings on women. The responsibility for violence and murder lies squarely with the perpetrators.
Women should not have to change their behaviour, surrender their freedom or live in fear to avoid being killed. Men must be held accountable for their actions, and society must continue demanding stronger interventions against GBV.
A woman who repeatedly reports being threatened or assaulted should not be told to simply resolve matters with her partner. Such warning signs must be treated with the seriousness they deserve.