Heat: Now with extra heat

Thulaganyo Jankey | Tuesday November 3, 2026 10:44

We wore that resilience like a national badge of honour. But alas, nobody informed us that the manufacturers had quietly rebranded the product. What we are currently experiencing comes with a shiny new label: ‘Heat: New and Improved.’ The old heat was straightforward. It arrived in the morning, annoyed everyone until sunset, then went home. The new version appears to have been developed by the same people who design software updates. Nobody asked for it, yet somehow it is more aggressive, more confusing and drains your battery faster.

Naturally, we assumed heat would also know its place. But this new heat clearly never received the memo. We have now become a nation of amateur meteorologists, hydration specialists and thermal management consultants. Every conversation now starts with a weather update. ‘Good morning.’ ‘It's hot.’ ‘Indeed.’ A complete exchange requiring no further elaboration! At bus stops, in supermarkets and at funerals, citizens compare temperatures the way economists compare stock market figures. ‘It was 39 degrees at my house.’ ‘Luxury. We reached 42.’ ‘Amateur numbers.

My steering wheel achieved nuclear fusion.’ The government health warnings have been flying thick and fast. Drink water. Stay indoors. Avoid strenuous exercise. Wear light clothing. Seek shade. Then the unofficial warnings arrive. Friends send voice notes. Relatives forward messages that begin with ‘I don't know how true this is but...’ An aunt who has worked at a doctor's practice for 26 years and now considers herself halfway between a medical specialist and the World Health Organisation issues hourly directives to the family group. Facebook experts emerge from retirement.

People selling miracle supplements announce that dehydration can be cured by a powdered berry discovered by monks on a remote mountain. Multi-level marketing warriors explain that if enough people join their downline, temperatures will seem significantly lower. Scammers somehow find a way to market air-conditioning units that exist only in photographs. Basically, advice is coming at us from all sides.

The challenge is no longer surviving the heat. The challenge is distinguishing between actual health guidance and information produced by a man whose profile picture shows him sitting inside a luxury vehicle he does not own. In fact, we have become so overwhelmed by heat warnings that I am now waiting for someone to issue a warning about heat warnings like; 1. ‘Limit your exposure to excessive health advice between 10 a.m. and 4 p.m.’ 2. ‘Do not forward unverified hydration messages.’ 3. ‘If symptoms of WhatsApp expertise persist for more than three days, consult a qualified professional.’ At this point the heat itself may not be the biggest threat. The bigger danger is being trapped in a corner by someone explaining, for 27 uninterrupted minutes, how a teaspoon of Himalayan salt, two drops of castor oil, alkaline water and a miracle berry from Peru can reduce the temperature of the sun.

Still, we remain optimistic. We are Batswana. We have survived droughts, fuel shortages, load shedding, potholes and election season. Surely we can survive this. Although, judging by the forecast, the heat has looked at our resilience, rolled up its sleeves and replied: ‘Challenge accepted.’ Meanwhile, we continue to insist that we are adapted to the climate. This claim becomes less convincing each afternoon when people sprint from air-conditioned buildings to their cars as though crossing enemy territory.

The truth is that we are adapting in the same way fish would adapt to living in a kettle. At this rate, the Botswana of old, where people proudly claimed they could withstand any temperature, will soon exist only in folklore, alongside affordable groceries, government offices that answered the phone on the first ring, clinics with paracetamol and the distant memory of leaving a supermarket with both dignity and change.

Yet there is one positive outcome. Nothing unites people like extreme weather. Political disagreements fade. Football rivalries pause. Social divisions disappear. For a few brief moments, the entire country speaks with one voice: ‘Yho! It's hot.’ And for once, nobody argues. (For comments, feedback and insults email inkspills1969@gmail.com) *Thulaganyo Jankey is a Rapporteur and training consultant who runs his own training consultancy that provides training in BQA- accredited courses. His other services include registering consultancies with BQA and developing training courses. Contact him on 74447920 or email ultimaxtraining@gmail.com