Gone to the dogs

Thulaganyo Jankey | Wednesday October 28, 2026 06:00

There are some that have not quite gained traction but you can be sure Botswana will embrace them as soon as they get the right clout. These are: 1. International Buffering Appreciation Day: A chance to reflect on the important life skills learnt while staring at a spinning circle. 2. World Low Battery Anxiety Day: Participants spend the day carrying their phones like critically ill relatives. 3. Government Workshop Season Opening Day: A ceremonial occasion marking the migration of civil servants to conference venues with excellent buffet facilities. But now humanity has reached peak creativity with 'Make a Dog’s Day.' There is something deeply unfair about this celebration. For one day each year we are instructed to make dogs happy.

The other 364 days of the year dogs are already dedicated to making us happy. They welcome us home as though we've returned from a three-year diplomatic mission when we've merely gone to buy bread. They never judge our fashion choices. They never ask to borrow money. This raises an important question: have the organisers ever met a dog? Dogs are possibly the only creatures on earth that begin each day already operating at maximum happiness. A dog wakes up and immediately concludes that life is magnificent. The sun exists. You exist. The floor exists. Outstanding. A dog's standards for happiness are absurdly low. In fact, if there's one creature in Botswana that doesn't need a happiness intervention, it's the average village dog. These comrades spend their entire day attending to important national duties. At sunrise they hold barking conferences with neighboring dogs. At 10 a.m. they chase a donkey.

At noon they sleep under a Toyota Hilux. Around 4 p.m. they escort schoolchildren home despite not being enrolled in any educational institution. It's a balanced lifestyle. The biggest mystery is why we assume dogs need extra happiness. The average dog gets more excited seeing its owner after ten minutes than some Batswana do when a relative returns from a five-year stint in South Africa. The dog greets you like you've returned from a peacekeeping mission in the Middle East. This is a bit like declaring a national campaign to make billionaires wealthier or asking Batswana to find more reasons to discuss fuel prices. Dogs are already winning at life. A dog can wake up in Old Naledi, Block 8, Kanye or Maun and immediately conclude that today is the greatest day in recorded history. Why? Because there are birds. There is dust. There is an empty Doritos packet blowing in the wind. Life is beautiful. Every day! Imagine explaining 'Make a Dog’s Day' to a dog.

'Today we're going to make you happy.' A dog would look at the average person and conclude that we are emotionally unstable. A dog sees a cardboard box and thinks, 'I've made it. This is my palace now.' Perhaps this explains why dogs remain so cheerful while humans require motivational speakers, self-help books, counselors, stern uncles and entire workshops dedicated to work-life balance. Humans, meanwhile, can get a salary increase and spend the next six months calculating whether inflation has secretly stolen it. A human being can be given a promotion and spend three months complaining that it came without a car allowance. Dogs have mastered a happiness formula economists would hate: Happiness = Food + Shade + Something to Bark At.

That's it. No strategic plan. No vision statement. No stakeholder engagement. No tender process. If we really want to make dogs happy, perhaps we should start by observing what already makes them happy. For example, dogs are the only citizens who can see a government vehicle drive past and not immediately wonder where it's going or how much fuel it will gobble up. A dog simply chases it. No questions. No speculation. No Facebook commentary. Action. Imagine the simplicity. Meanwhile, social media will be full of proud owners posting pictures of luxury dog treats.

People will buy imported biscuits costing more than lunch at a take-away. The dog will ignore them and become obsessed with an old Mascom recharge voucher it found in the yard. Some of these dogs have spent years sleeping comfortably on perfectly good blankets, only to abandon them for a patch of sand outside the gate. You can spend P800 on a fancy dog bed. The dog will thank you by sleeping under a broken wheelbarrow. Then there are the security services they provide. Many families have dogs that bark all night. Not because there is danger. Not because there are thieves. But because somewhere, perhaps three wards away, another dog has expressed an opinion. A debate begins. The entire canine parliament joins in. Nobody knows the motion under discussion.

The meeting simply continues until dawn. Or until a grumpy, happiness-shorn human puts an end to the party! And let's be honest, Botswana dogs are a special breed altogether. These are creatures that can survive temperatures capable of melting your will to live. At 2 p.m., when humans are desperately searching for shade, the village dog is lying in direct sunlight as if charging itself with solar power. You start worrying. The dog starts snoring. Which is why Make a Dog’s Day feels unnecessary. The dogs are already happy. The real challenge isn't making dogs happier. It's figuring out how creatures whose greatest ambition is acquiring a stick and barking at invisible threats have somehow mastered happiness better than the rest of us.

Perhaps the day should instead be called: 'Try Being As Happy As a Dog Day.' Because while we're busy stressing about fuel prices, BURS deadlines, water interruptions, BDP, BCP, UDC, BNF and whatever coalition is being formed this week, a dog somewhere in Tlokweng has discovered a stick and believes it has achieved complete success in life.

And honestly, who's the wiser species here? (For comments, feedback and insults email inkspills1969@gmail.com) *Thulaganyo Jankey is a Rapporteur and training consultant who runs his own training consultancy that provides training in BQA- accredited courses. His other services include registering consultancies with BQA and developing training courses. Contact him on 74447920 or email ultimaxtraining@gmail.com