Couples tied in knots of debt

NYAKWAR BARA
Correspondent | Friday October 17, 2008 00:00

 

Most popular venues are overbooked and so are churches.
So couples will celebrate the end of the year in style, visiting honeymoon resorts.
But glamorous as weddings are, they come with their share of misery because they leave a neat dent in people's finances, not to mention the headaches that come with the planning.

Weddings have become big business and everything about them is expensive. Many have been known to take loans to finance their weddings, sometimes perceived as a waste, since you pump in so much money into a one-day event.
The situation has been compounded by pre-wedding parties, which have sneaked back in the name of bridal showers and stag parties.

Instead of some couples of savouring marital bliss, they find themselves overwhelmed by debts and regrets that could have done something 'more sensible' with all that money.
Karabo Dikgafela, 32, plans to wed end of November, but says planning the event has proved a hassle and she can hardly wait to be done with the day.

'We wanted a small cell unit wedding to cut on transportation and venue costs, but our relatives could not hear none of it,' says Dikgafela.
Their pastor believes that a cell is not a blessed sanctuary, and has adamantly refused to move the ceremony from the church.
'You also have to be a registered member of the church to wed there. Since I do not have a membership card, I have asked my mother to plead with the pastor on my behalf,' she moans.

Dikgafela has further noted that small cell units are not necessarily cheap, since some venues charge as much as P 3,000 to use the premise alone. Using the public address system, tents come at an additional cost.
As if that is not enough, Dikgafela has found the cost of wedding gowns prohibitive.

'I have ordered my gowns from abroad, which will cost P3,800. All this for a dress that I will only wear once,' says Dikgafela.
She and her fianc have budgeted for 150 guests. After cutting down some things, the couple's expenses stand at P45,000 excluding honeymoon costs.
Dikgafela and her man were not keen to constitute a committee because members rarely honour their financial pledges.

'Hiring a field for a reception is expensive, especially if it is in an affluent neighbourhood. When we enquired about a certain venue, the management quoted P 4, 000 for use of the field only,' says Dikgafela.
To the would-be bride, the Home Affairs are beginning to look like a very attractive option.

But who enjoys such weddings anyway, which lack glitz and glamour?
Jean Sethunya, a Gaborone events manager says weddings are luxurious and one has to have the money.
However, she says there are options for people who want to solemnise their union and do have much money.

'The basics for a simple wedding ceremony are two witnesses, someone to officiate, rings and of course the bride and the groom,' she says.
Pastor James Tambala, of the Jesus Glory Ministries in Gaborone concurs that what matters is for a couple to enter into holy matrimony.

'I have wedded couples on week days, after which they hold a simple wedding reception at the church compound for family members and close friends,' says the cleric.
He says such weddings one can spend as little as P 5,000.
'In the end, it is not the affluent display at weddings that keep a couple together, but their love for each other,' says the pastor.

Sethunya says what drives high wedding cost is the guest list.
'Guests in Botswana tend to come in a crowd. You invite one and they drag along about five friends,' she says.
This is why some couples have come up with the brilliant idea of invitation-by- card-only weddings where guests are allowed into the venue only if they produce their invitation cards.

Masego and George Mpuang, who held such a wedding, are full of praises for it.
'You make your relatives and friends feel special since you have selected them out of many others. It also keeps away layouts who only attend weddings to eat the food yet they do not bring any gifts,' says Masego.

Bhogal Shimita says Indian families plan and save for their children's weddings over a long period, hence a guest list is not an issue.
'They can even have a guest list of 100 and there is no skimping on costs,' she says.
Today many get married at an older age, especially in their 30s, having chosen to settle in their careers. This enables them to fund their own weddings.

Pono Montshwari says one can also save on costs by holding a small unit cell ceremony followed by an intimate dinner for close friends and relatives.
You could also rent the bride's gown and hold a ceremony on a week day when the rates are cheaper. Fridays, public holidays and Valentines' day are proving to be popular wedding days.

Other couples go for hotel packages, which offer an all-inclusive package including, food, venue, photo sites, chairs, tables and decoration. The Cresta Group of hotels is one chain that has come up with wedding packages. Grand Palm also is popular for weddings.
Jane Seboko and Patrice Ngwenya of Costcare enterprises Event Planners say weddings are usually focused on the bride and food.

'People don't really look at other luxury items, but they scrutinise the bride and the food,' says Seboko.
She says if the bride can buy or hire an exquisite gown, get the perfect makeup and accessories, and ensure the crowd is well fed, people will sing about her glamorous wedding for months to come.

Ngwenya says there is an emerging trend where couples are looking for beautiful sites such as parks for wedding receptions and photo shots to cut back the finances.
Boagi Pheto suggests that city couples can do photos at Game City, which now has plush beautiful sites following refurbishment.

Ngwenya adds that instead of hiring expensive limousines; why not let a friend chip in, and you only get to fuel the bridal car.
He also proposes hiring an Events Manager to work within the budget.
'You may know where to source many items and may end up spending more than you had planned for.

Leave this in the able hands of a Manager', says Ngwenya.
The truth is that you want a wedding you have always dreamt of, you and your partner should start saving early, say two years in advance, to avoid disappointment.
But if you are too deeply in love to wait and want to wed your partner tomorrow, you can stick to a sensible budget and have a memorable event.
Seboko says one can spend as little as P4,000 on a wedding.
'It will depend on proper planning, keeping it simple and doing away with fancy trimmings,' she says.

Says Pono: 'You do not have to reel under crippling debts to please people for a day, and who will be there when your misery sets in. Always remember that it is you and your partner who matter most, and the day is about the two of you. You are not out to please the world, but do want your guests to join in celebrating the great love you have for each other.'

Here is how one couple that had limited finances devised the ingenious way to have their dream wedding.
'Mogapi Lethoghonolo and Maryanne Phoko spent P10,000 on their wedding.
The bride visited a gift shop at Gaborone's River Walk area where  she bought her beautiful gown for P2,500.

'I picked out the design from a glamorous bridal Nigerian Magazine and one could hardly tell that what I had on was an imitation,' the lady says.
The bridesmaids bought their outfits at the same gift shop, but the groomsmen did not have to buy new suits since they already had their own black suits. The story was the same for the groom. The only thing he did was to take his black suit to the laundry and it came back looking as good as new.

To save on the food budget, the couple got an aunt who offered catering services on a small-scale and she and her team made delicious food; enough for all, at the cost of P4,000.After saying their vows, the couple drove to Game City, where they took beautiful photos without paying a venue fee.
T

hey had picked the best photographer in Mokolodi's estate who charged them P3, 000. The ceremony and wedding were at church, which cut transport costs. The church choir provided entertainment for free. The fundraising cards doubled as invitation cards.
'They had all the information, including the venue, time and where the reception would be held,' says Mogapi.

The couple bought rings from a Game City jeweller, who sells genuine stones. They cost P1,000. The dinner and evening celebration were held at Grand Palm at P350 per person. Instead of hiring cars, the couple's family members and friends chipped in with personal vehicles.The bride's beautician friend did her hair and makeup for free.