Rename it until it grows

Thulaganyo Jankey | Wednesday October 14, 2026 06:00

We have launched strategies on diversification. We have commissioned reports examining obstacles to diversification. We have probably diversified the number of PowerPoint presentations on diversification more than we have diversified the economy itself. Now, at last, a breakthrough. Some brilliant citizens have decided we should rename BIUST - that university in Palapye - Festus Mogae BIUST or something to that effect. Of course, renaming institutions after national leaders is a perfectly legitimate public policy decision. Nations honour important figures all the time. Festus Mogae remains one of Botswana's most respected former presidents and government has indicated that naming institutions can preserve legacies and honour national contributions. But ordinary citizens cannot help noticing our remarkable enthusiasm for symbolic achievements. Botswana has spent so many years talking about economic diversification that diversification itself should qualify for a pension. Every National Development Plan promises it. Every budget speech mentions it. Every conference discusses it. Every consultant invoices for it. Yet somehow, economic diversification remains like that relative who says, ‘I am arriving shortly,’ then arrives three days later carrying excuses and a plastic bag from Choppies. The problem is that in Botswana, symbolism is beginning to look suspiciously like a substitute for progress. When faced with a difficult national challenge, our first instinct is no longer to solve it. Our first instinct is to launch it, commemorate it, rename it or put it on a billboard. At this rate, Botswana's entire economic strategy can be summarised in three easy steps: 1. Identify problem 2. Rename something 3. Enjoy refreshments If this momentum continues, there is no reason to stop at BIUST. The Gaborone Bus Rank should become the National Institute of Strategic Standing Around and Uncouth Language. The A1 Road should become the Formula One Hope and Prayer Circuit. The BHC waiting list should become the National Long-Term Accommodation Aspirations Programme. Because that is when everyone hopes something will happen. Even our politics increasingly resembles a giant rebranding exercise. Every administration arrives promising a Reset. A Transformation. A New Dawn. A New Botswana. A Better Botswana. An Even Newer Botswana. By now Batswana have seen so many New Botswanas that some are wondering whether the original Botswana is still available. Every time the conversation turns to economic competitiveness, innovation or private sector growth, we somehow end up discussing names, commemorations and ceremonies. It is like owning a Toyota Land Cruiser with no fuel and deciding that the real solution is a personalised number plate. The car is still not moving for heaven’s sake! But honestly, what are the chances of any institution in Botswana being named after someone who isn't a politician like me? You could cure foot-and-mouth disease, discover oil in Tswapong, and teach a donkey to file BURS returns and your reward would still be a polite handshake and perhaps a complimentary bottle of water at a prize-giving ceremony. Unless, of course, if you are a politician. In that case, entire buildings begin nervously measuring themselves for commemorative plaques while you are still alive. If you kick a football harder than anyone else or sing louder than Vee Mampeezy, don't get your hopes up. You're unlikely to get so much as an unnamed cul-de-sac in Shorobe. The exceptions, such as Sam Sono and Julia Molefe, remain fascinating mysteries. One can only assume they possess a rabbit's foot, a lucky horseshoe and perhaps a direct line to the National Naming Committee. As for me, I have settled on a long-term strategy. I intend to write as many newspaper columns as my employers are willing to pay for, or until the cash register emits its final death rattle. My dream is that one day, while crossing a bridge, I will glance up and discover it has been named in my honour. The problem is that politics appears to be the password to national immortality. Unfortunately, I am poorly equipped for the profession. I doubt I could crank my voice up to Freedom Square levels and spend an afternoon launching artillery barrages of accusations at my opponents. The required testicular fortitude was evidently omitted from my factory settings. At best, I could stand at a rally and politely suggest that opposing viewpoints contain ‘areas for possible improvement’. Nobody gets a university named after them for that. At most, you get appointed secretary of a subcommittee tasked with investigating why nothing ever gets named after columnists. (For comments, feedback and insults email inkspills1969@gmail.com) *Thulaganyo Jankey is a training consultant who runs his own training consultancy that provides training in BQA- accredited courses. His other services include registering consultancies with BQA and developing training courses. Contact him on 74447920 or email admin@ultimaxtraining.co.bw