My boss hates me - The perpetually aggrieved employee

Thulaganyo Jankey | Wednesday September 30, 2026 06:00

And somehow, the statement often arrives without any supporting evidence. ‘My boss hates me.’ Why? ‘He just does.’ Ah. Case closed. Of course, sometimes a boss genuinely may have an unreasonable dislike for an employee. Managers are human beings, after all, and human beings can be petty, biased and occasionally allergic to the personalities of others. But there is another species of employee for whom ‘my boss hates me’ is less a diagnosis and more a convenient explanation for why their career has remained stubbornly stationary. These are the people who want the corner office without having first mastered the corner of the filing cabinet. These are the folks who treat every piece of performance feedback like a targeted hate crime. To them, ‘Please stop sending emails in ALL CAPS’ isn't a reasonable workplace request—it’s clear, irrefutable evidence of a personal vendetta.

They’ve convinced themselves that the boss' morning glare is a dark, calculated strategy to keep them down. It is, frankly, a breathtakingly creative narrative. After all, accepting that Boss hates me because I am a free-thinking maverick feels a lot sexier than Boss is annoyed because I’ve been late four days in a row and accidentally erased the Q3 budget spreadsheet. You have to admire the sheer audacity of the ambition-to-effort ratio. They want executive-suite privileges, a plush leather chair but asking them to organise a Google Drive folder sends them into an existential crisis. They look at a basic filing cabinet the way an amateur hiker looks at Kgale Hill: a treacherous, unscalable waste of time that is fundamentally beneath their talents. So, they remain stationary, anchored to their desks, polishing their victim status like a trophy.

Because in the end, it’s much easier to blame a ‘petty manager’ for your stalled career than it is to admit that maybe, just maybe, you need to learn how to operate the copier first. They want the promotion, but not the responsibility that comes with it. They want the title, but not the toil. They want recognition, but preferably without anyone actually witnessing them doing anything recognisable. They want to climb the corporate ladder while standing firmly on the ground.

And when the promotion goes to someone else? ‘My boss hates me.’ No, my friend. Your boss may simply have noticed that your greatest contribution to the organisation is forwarding inspirational quotes about success. There is a particular type of employee who is extremely ambitious during conversations but remarkably modest when work needs to be done. Ask them about their career aspirations and they will give you a five-year strategic plan. Ask them to stay an extra thirty minutes to finish an urgent task and suddenly they have a family emergency, a doctor's appointment, a spiritual obligation and possibly a goat waiting for them somewhere. Yet somehow, they are convinced they deserve to be promoted. ‘I'm more experienced than him.’ Perhaps. ‘But I've been here longer.’ Possibly.

‘So why did they promote her?’ Because, my dear colleague, being present is not the same as being productive.

There is a difference between occupying a desk and occupying a role. Some employees have perfected the art of looking extremely busy whenever management is nearby. Their keyboards suddenly become percussion instruments. Documents are opened with the urgency of a surgeon entering an operating theatre. They develop an impressive ability to walk quickly while carrying absolutely nothing. They have mastered the art of being busy without necessarily being productive. When the boss walks past, the keyboard suddenly comes alive. Click. Click. Click. A spreadsheet appears. A serious face is adopted. Perhaps even a thoughtful frown, just to demonstrate strategic engagement. Then the boss disappears around the corner and the national productivity crisis resumes. These are often the same people who believe office politics is responsible for every disappointment in their careers.

But here is the uncomfortable truth: sometimes the boss isn't stopping you. You are. You cannot demand the rewards of excellence while negotiating aggressively against the effort required to achieve it. You cannot complain that nobody notices you while making every effort to remain unnoticed when there is actual work to be done. Climbing the career ladder involves something terribly old-fashioned: putting in the legwork. Learn the job. Do it properly. Take responsibility. Solve problems. Be dependable. Learn from criticism. Help the team. And, most importantly, develop the annoying habit of actually delivering results. Nobody says you must become the office martyr. You don't have to live at work, nor should exploitation be confused with dedication. But there is a difference between having a healthy work-life balance and having a healthy relationship with avoiding work.

So the next time someone announces, ‘My boss hates me,’ perhaps resist the temptation to immediately sympathise. Ask a slightly more dangerous question: ‘What makes you think so?’ If the answer is, ‘Because I keep getting passed over for promotion,’ the next question might be even more uncomfortable: ‘And what have you done to make yourself impossible to overlook?’ That is when the room suddenly becomes very quiet. Because sometimes the boss doesn't hate you. Sometimes the boss has simply been paying attention. For comments, feedback and insults email inkspills1969@gmail.com) *Thulaganyo Jankey is a training consultant who runs his own training consultancy that provides training in BQA- accredited courses. His other services include registering consultancies with BQA and developing training courses. Contact him on 74447920 or email admin@ultimaxtraining.co.bw