57 years: The knee creaking chronicles

Thulaganyo Jankey | Tuesday July 7, 2026 11:42

While other countries were experimenting with coups and chaos, Botswana was calmly saying, ‘We’ll just vote, thank you very much.’ The second thing that happened was the Orapa mine was discovered, and suddenly the country went from ‘we have cows’ to ‘we have bling.’ Picture villagers squinting at shiny rocks and saying, ‘Is this worth more than a goat?’ Thirdly, and perhaps not so significant, I was born. Yes, me! When I was born it was pretty quiet in GC. The area was still essentially a wilderness: The population was tiny; there were few permanent dwellings; and there actually were some available parking spaces at the place we now call ‘Main Mall.’ And there were no parking marshals- in fact none of the marshals in existence was born. So today is my birthday. Not that the world actually cares — the stock market didn’t pause, the birds didn’t sing louder and nobody declared a public holiday. But inside my little household tribe, there’s an unspoken expectation: they must do something worthwhile to prove they have at least a morsel of care.

A cake, a card, or even just pretending to remember without checking Facebook reminders would be nice. At 57, birthdays lose their sparkle. People get tired of celebrating you. Once upon a time, you got balloons, gifts and maybe a surprise party. Now? You’re lucky if someone scribbles ‘Happy Birthday’ on a card they bought at Game Store. And these days, people have become bold — no, audacious — enough to send e cards.

It is also interesting how gifts change over time. At 30, after the gadget gift phase of the 20somethings year old gifts started to get practical. Socks, ties, maybe a blender if your relatives think you’ve ‘settled down.’ You pretend to be excited, but deep down you miss the noisy toys. At 40, the gifts get suspiciously health related.

Gym memberships, running shoes, maybe a book titled’ ‘How to Stay Young Forever’ (spoiler: that’s not happening). And at 57? The gifts are survival based. Suppplements, health shoes, maybe a voucher for a massage because your back now sounds like bubble wrap. My biggest fear is getting a pair of reading glasses that would make me look like a retired librarian but a gift is a gift. The dilemma!

When you hit 57, birthdays stop being about cake and balloons. They become about survival. The knees creak, the back complains, but the heart still beats. You wake up, check that all your joints are still attached, and if you can bend down to tie your shoes without calling for backup, you declare the day a victory.

Forget blowing out candles — that’s a fire hazard at this point. One candle per decade is safer, otherwise the fire alarm will join the party. Last time I tried dancing to celebrate. Big mistake and I doubt if I would be trying that again. At 27, you dance to impress. But at 57, one wrong move and suddenly you’re Googling ‘nearest physiotherapist.’

People say age brings wisdom. I say it brings selective memory. I can recall the nursery rhymes and recitations I chorused at lower primary in 1978 but forget why I walked into the kitchen five minutes ago.

But here’s the funny thing: 57 isn’t bad. It’s the age where you stop caring about impressing anyone. You wear what’s comfortable, you laugh at your own jokes, and you finally understand that life is too short to worry about matching socks — if they’re both clean, it’s a fashion statement. You’ve survived teenage angst, midlife crises, and questionable fashion choices. Now you get to enjoy the freedom of not giving a hoot. I may not be young, but I’m seasoned.

I may not be trendy, but I’m timeless. And if anyone asks how I feel, I’ll say: ‘Like a fine wine — slightly corked, but still worth tasting.’ I am now in my fifth consecutive decade in which half the population is just totally FED UP with me.

For comments, feedback and insults email inkspills1969@gmail.com) *Thulaganyo Jankey is a training consultant who runs his own training consultancy that provides training in BQA- accredited courses. His other services include registering consultancies with BQA and developing training courses. Contact him on 74447920 or email admin@ultimaxtraining.co.bw