INK SPILLS
Thulaganyo Jankey | Wednesday April 1, 2026 06:00
While the official version of these increases is that Trump has bombed the Strait of Hormuz we don't believe that is the reason. I believe only the legendary powers of Morris are capable of pushing fuel prices up to unprecedented levels. Not some darned straits that we only heard of last month! I tried that trick of fueling up before the prices went up at midnight which I believe is balderdash. But I was right in the mix with the Balderdashians.
That got me to one service station on the outskirts of the city and the attendant shouted 'full tank?'. At this point everyone was ‘full tanking’ and the attendants had that smile, you know the one that says 'this time there's no usual P70 fuel up, you have no choice'.
But my vehicle fuel gauge needle hasn't for a long time climbed beyond the half tank mark and so I believe the needle has lost such capabilities because it hasn't been there in a loooong time. In fact, that needle has found permanent residence at the last mark at the bottom.
You know the one that triggers that orange light. I actually believe I am going to be the first person whose car blows out the bulb for that warning light. But, thankfully it cooperated even though that burnt a huge hole in my account.
Back in the day – which is basically last week- filling up your tank was just another adult errand. You’d swipe, pump and drive off like a responsible grown up. Now? It’s basically a financial summit. • You approach the pump like a pilgrim approaching a shrine • You whisper a prayer, promise to fast and mentally draft a loan application. • Then comes the swipe—done with the same trembling gravitas as someone signing a peace treaty. And in the background, your bank account leans back, lights a cigarette and mutters: ‘We had a good run.’
When petrol prices go up, everyone turns into an alternative energy consultant overnight. One guy is Googling how to convert his Corolla into a solar farm. Another is calculating if a donkey cart qualifies as ‘renewable transport.’ Someone swears they can run a car on morula juice—’It’s organic, bro!’ And suddenly, every braai conversation includes phrases like ‘wind turbine efficiency’ and ‘biogas scalability.’
Social media, which is the unofficial source of all solutions in the world, is under siege with people trying to find solutions to these increases. The unreliable sources are suggesting carpooling – a solution as foreign to locals as trying to pay for fat cakes with a credit card at the Mahalapye bus rank.
Now carpooling is a whole different ballgame. It is a full corporate structure with a CEO (the owner of the car), middle management (those who contribute fuel money), and interns (those who say, ‘I’ll send my contribution later’). It is basically a full logistics company.
Weekend plans? Gone. Finished. Deleted. We used to wake up and say, ‘Let’s go somewhere!’ Now one wakes up and says, ‘Let’s stay exactly where we are and appreciate the blue sky.’ Road trips are now throwbacks, spoken about like ancient legends.
‘Remember when we just drove for fun?’ the elders say, staring into the distance. This morning a friend of mine said ‘If I go to Spar, then the bank in Main Mall, then visit my cousin, I can save 0.5 litres.’ His mathematics teacher will be proud wherever he is. Suddenly public transport is now beginning to look like the VIP lounge of survival. Taxis are going to be packed tighter than a wedding in Molepolole.
Combis, we once ignored, will now be treated with the kind of respect usually reserved for cabinet ministers. That combi driver with ‘creative’ driving skills? He’s no longer a menace—he’s a strategic partner in your daily commute plan. Today I waved at one combi driver and he gave me this you-will-be-coming-back-soon look.
At this point every trip now has meaning. Every kilometer is a commitment. You and your car? You’re in this together now. A partnership built on trust, patience and shared financial distress!
(For comments, feedback and insults email inkspills1969@gmail.com) *Thulaganyo Jankey is a training consultant who runs his own training consultancy that provides training in BQA- accredited courses. His other services include registering consultancies with BQA and developing training courses. Contact him on 74447920 or email admin@ultimaxtraining.co.bw