Economic growth, now with extra bumps
Thulaganyo Jankey | Wednesday March 25, 2026 06:00
Every rainy season, local potholes recruit new allies, expanding their empire faster than the council can hold emergency meetings. Truth be told the tarred section feels like a rude guest crashing a pothole family reunion. Places like BBS Mall, Broadhurst Industrial have officially rebranded themselves as the National Pothole Park. You don’t just drive there—you embark on a geological expedition. Some potholes are shallow, like polite handshakes.
Others are so deep they look like portals to another dimension. And the shapes? Wilson Ngoni would be proud—triangles, blobs, even potholes that look suspiciously like Botswana itself. At this point, our roads don’t need maintenance; they need a curator.
Forget traffic signs—what they really need are museum plaques: ‘Exhibit A: The Abyss. Depth: Unknown. Approach with caution.’ With funds stretched thin, the council can only afford ‘symbolic fillings’—a teaspoon of gravel ceremonially sprinkled into each crater.
A while ago the council had more excuses than a pregnant nun. It was almost poetic how the council had mastered the art of excuses. But then the country got declared broke, and suddenly they found the perfect invisibility cloak: ‘Sorry, we’d fix the roads, but... you know... broke.’ It’s like a student who discovers the magic of ‘the dog ate my homework’ — except here it’s ‘the economy ate our budget.’
The council has cocooned itself so snugly in that excuse you’d think they were auditioning for a butterfly transformation. Except instead of emerging as something beautiful, they’re just... staying in the cocoon, sipping tea and pointing at the ‘broke’ sign whenever anyone complains.
Forget mining, tourism, or tech startups—potholes are the new growth industry. Unlike oil or diamonds, potholes never run out. In fact, they multiply naturally every rainy season. They are a renewable resource. Every crater in the road is basically a pop up shop waiting to happen.
Mechanics, tire shops, physiotherapists and suspension specialists thrive thanks to their steady business pipeline—potholes are the unsung heroes of capitalism. In a country where leaders are always looking to diversify the economy potholes have provided a solution. Potholes have stepped up as the ultimate solution.
Every pothole is essentially a micro enterprise incubator. Car dealerships have ads that go something like ‘Why wait for a trade in cycle when potholes can accelerate depreciation? Or ‘Upgrade now—before the next crater eats your suspension.’
Our roads may be collapsing, but at least the potholes are thriving—proving that neglect is the most sustainable infrastructure policy. Potholes are the only industry that grows without subsidies, thrives in all climates and guarantees repeat customers—because once you hit one you get humbled by the same bone rattling jolt no matter what car you drive whether it’s a luxury SUV or a rusty hatchback.
And you’ll be back for repairs! In short, potholes aren’t just holes in the road—they’re the city’s most reliable business accelerator. The only ones not cashing in are the drivers... unless they start charging admission for ‘extreme pothole tours.’ Potholes aren’t road hazards—they’re the city’s most consistent small business stimulus package. Every dip in the asphalt is basically a grant program for mechanics, tire shops and physiotherapists. (For comments, feedback and insults email inkspills1969@gmail.com)
*Thulaganyo Jankey is a Rapporteur and training consultant who runs his own training consultancy that provides training in BQA- accredited courses. His other services include registering consultancies with BQA and developing training courses. Contact him on 74447920 or email ultimaxtraining@gmail.com