Bullies, bullies and more workplace bullies

Thulaganyo Jankey | Wednesday February 25, 2026 06:00

She always had this face like every morning someone had dumped half the world chillies supply in her food. Her attitude was my brain was not working well enough for me to be eligible to have an opinion or do anything right. Even if it was raining courtesy and kindness she would use an umbrella. In her mind my mobility up the corporate ladder was a crime that justified her bullying. Initially I had thought these were performance issues and so I tried to up my performance. I decided to become the most dedicated employee in the history of the SADC region. I also decided to punctuate our interactions with a smile so wide with it looked like I was auditioning for a toothpaste commercial.

I decided to take her snide remarks and translate them into ‘Corporate Growth Opportunities’ to keep from breaking down. But it didn’t work. This was a lady on a mission.

She was unrelenting. She was measured. She was armed with artillery from Nastyland! There were also the enablers- my colleagues and friends. The fuel to the fire! Terrified by the contamination that comes with proximity to a crime scene their default mode was to beat a hasty retreat every time the bully descended on me like a tonne of bricks.

Nobody wanted to be subpoenaed. Nobody wanted to be a witness in a disciplinary hearing especially involving one of the bosses. So I was basically alone trudging a lonely path in a labyrinth of strife and rubbish.

Dealing with a workplace bully is like being stuck in a lift with a wet goat—it’s cramped, it’s stressful, and everything smells a bit ‘off.’ When you go to a psychologist, they give you ‘strategies.’ When you actually apply those strategies in an office in Gaborone, the results are... well, let’s just say they don't always look like the textbook. I consulted a psychologist who was still in training at tertiary.

I think she was not doing that well because her advice went something like ‘Be so boring that the bully gets tired of poking you and goes to find a more ‘expressive’ victim.’ Now this cannot work with me. I just don’t know how to be boring – at least readers of this column think so.

Another not-very-sound advice from the struggling psychologist-in-training was I should imagine the bully as a wounded inner child - that they are acting out because they lack self-esteem. I tried to see this 50-year-old woman in a corporate suit as a four-year-old in a diaper throwing a tantrum.

So I tried this. I started laughing during a serious reprimand because I was picturing her with a pacifier. Before I knew it HR hauled me in for ‘inappropriate smiling during a performance review.’

I tried to engage the CEO. He was of no help. He was an elderly gent, a faded legend basically running on fumes who just wanted to see the last years of his corporate life – and what was left of his life – shorn of strive.

He was philosophical and spoke beautifully without saying anything. I think the CEO was worried that once placed under the fluorescent lights of corporate accountability the bully might actually reveal her bullying indiscretions and he might be forced to show tough love. He preached peace. He preached reconciliation. He preached having stronger chins. Bullying doesn’t just break a heart. It shatters a persona. We see people who ‘recover’ in weeks. They have fresh highlights and curated social feed. But behind the ‘I’m doing so well’ caption is a dangerous truth: They are not healing. They just are becoming more skilled at performing.

(For comments, feedback and insults email inkspills1969@gmail.com) *Thulaganyo Jankey is a training consultant who runs his own training consultancy that provides training in BQA- accredited courses. His other services include registering consultancies with BQA and developing training courses. Contact him on 74447920 or email admin@ultimaxtraining.co.bw