World Relays: The muted preps
Thuli Jankey | Thursday February 12, 2026 13:28
An acceptable definition for a relay is a race where one person hands over a stick to the next person and hope they don’t drop it while sprinting at full speed. When a country hosts an event like this you expect there’ll be a whole lot of noise to let people know and spread the message of the event. You expect the hype machine to crank up to full volume—billboards, jingles, mascots doing backflips in shopping malls. Instead, sometimes it feels like the baton gets passed more quietly than a library handoff.
Some rumour mongers have confirmed the noise budget has been spent entirely on one guy with a vuvuzela. The noise has come from the people who should be the receiver of the noise in the first place – spectators.
And this because they saw the ticket prices – on Facebook! If you want to get clap back just share prices of whatever you are selling on Facebook. Facebook citizens just know how to deride almost every price. No matter what price you charge they will always find a way to complain about how steep it is.
This is Facebook retail shop where P10 is highway robbery, P5 is daylight theft and free still isn’t cheap enough. Post a price on Facebook and suddenly everyone’s an economist with a PhD in ‘Too Expensive Studies’.
Every price announced on Facebook instantly turns the comments section into a live auction — except everyone’s bidding lower. So when the announcement was made the citizens went into derision mode. The following were the more polite responses • “For this price, I better get to run a leg myself.” • “At these ticket prices, the runners should carry me around the track.” • “I thought I was buying seats, not shares in the stadium mortgage.” • “I didn’t know watching people pass sticks was a luxury sport.” The venue to host these relays is the national Stadium - now firmly established as the nation’s premier classroom for hands on learning.
It is currently undergoing refurbishments to make it World Relays ready. Now everyone knows the national stadium is where people who are still learning their trades do practicals.
If you have just finished doing theory on how to lay turf the powers that be will allow you to try that at the national stadium. If you want to mark lanes the gracious officials will give you an opportunity to try put in practice what you have just learnt.
If you want to learn how to install seats on stands they will kindly indulge you. So at this point there are some practicals happening at the national stadium in preparation for the relays. Sometimes -many times actually – the job turns out very substandard. Fans are amused but skeptical.
One remarked, “For the ticket price I’m paying, I hope the turf doesn’t peel up mid race. Unless it’s part of the entertainment.” Another added, “I came to watch relays, not a live demonstration of DIY stadium construction.”
Favourites USA - now more famous for dropping batons - are rumoured to be protesting that the baton is too heavy and request the feather version. They have promised “seamless baton exchanges,” which experts agree is the funniest thing they’ve ever heard since Idi Amin proposed love to Queen Elizabeth. Officials are unfazed and optimistic. “We’ve hosted cattle auctions, music festivals, and political rallies,” said one spokesperson. “How hard can it be to keep a stick moving in circles?” They insist the event will run smoothly, though the fear that a baton might accidentally be handed to a tourist, lingers like an unwanted guest at a dinnertable.
(For comments, feedback and insults email inkspills1969@gmail.com) *Thulaganyo Jankey is a training consultant who runs his own training consultancy that provides training in BQA- accredited courses. His other services include registering consultancies with BQA and developing training courses. Contact him on 74447920 or email admin@ultimaxtraining.co.bw