Do we now reside In pothole city

Thulaganyo Jankey | Wednesday August 20, 2025 10:19

In our case we should adopt a variation of same that goes something like ‘when life gives you potholes, make pothole-ade’. Just kidding – don’t drink that. Our potholes have now crashed into the list of national concerns and nicely wedged themselves between the health sector and public service salaries. This was a silent creep that got louder and louder after the recent floods. My GPS doesn't say ‘turn left’; it says, ‘brace yourself for impact in 500 metres.’ Driving in most city roads has now turned into a quest to get to your destination with all four tyres still attached and your dental fillings intact.

Our vehicles suffer quite a lot. A long time ago before potholes came into fashion my vehicle dashboard had two orange lights and a red one which I nicely ignored and kept driving without any issues. Now thanks to the potholes the number of dashboard lights is around eight.

There’s one menacing one which shows a man seemingly holding a rifle. I have argued a bit about this with a few of my passengers who have identified this as actually a warning to buckle up my seatbelt.

This clearly cannot be true as I always have my seatbelt on and this man with a rifle keeps staring at me and refuses to go away. I'm pretty sure my wheels are now shaped like stop signs and my tyres are just decorative.

About two presidents ago whenever there was an issue of public concern the government would call a Pitso. A Pitso is a national dialogue on an issue of concern where people meet in plush hotels to talk about something and find solutions and eat lots of food. Pitsos were also a ploy to give the hospitality industry a boost – at least that’s what I suspected. There were pitsos for Education, health and the like.

The president’s term, though, ended before he could get to • Pitso to deal with people who love callbacks • Pitso to eradicate excessive monetary blessings from blessers • Pitso for January blues So I think the new government must seriously think about a Pothole Pitso. I know you might argue that the attendance might be negatively affected because potholes to the venue might end up swallowing up some of the vehicles of the delegates.

We must try anyway and think of rewarding those drivers that manage to deliver the delegates complete with their contact lenses, frontals and intact makeup. Since this is a serious engagement we cannot have delegates with eyeliners doing the walk of shame down delegates’ cheeks.

Therefore, the drivers must be carefully selected so that they can do the pothole slalom, that is, zigzagging around potholes. This Pitso will not be about biscuits and sandwiches but will come up with solutions of patching potholes. Permanently! (For comments, feedback and insults email inkspills1969@gmail.com) Thulaganyo Jankey is a Rapporteur and training consultant who runs his own training consultancy that provides training in BQA- accredited courses. His other services include registering consultancies with BQA and developing training courses. Contact him on 74447920 or email ultimaxtraining@gmail.com