Shandesh – The Demio Tales.

Thulaganyo Jankey | Wednesday July 9, 2025 12:43

Botswana is according to her a sprawling showroom of this budget-friendly vehicle. She stopped short of saying ‘Forget the zebra. Let's put a Demio on the coat of arms. Or better yet, a whole herd of them, all meticulously parked. The Honda Fit owners were furious. How can she say that? Anyone that has passed through this country knows very well that every 3rd car in the republic is a Honda Fit and anyone saying that is disrespectful to Honda Fit and its owners. Demio is at the ‘still growing’ phase version, that is, it is a Honda Fit without the notoriety. The 2 are like cousins though, one from Extension 27 and the other from Extension 10 so you can forgive Shandesh here. She might well have mistaken one for the other. She was not finished though and to add salt to very open wounds she continued to say ‘Botswana is just a dry place with nothing but dust and cows.

I perform there, get my money, and leave.’ Now people that live in places where there’s nothing but dust and cows don’t want to be told that. They also don’t want you to boast about taking their money. These days for Batswana anything that sticks in their craws is met with a facebook pushback. Shandesh should ask the Ms World pageant organizers. Facebook is the only place where you can offend 97 people before lunch with nothing but an emoji and Batswana have developed a special skill in this regard. This wasn't just a gentle nudge; it turned into a fully-blown digital uprising. People who are normally busy with facebook games such as Farmscape 5: Revenge of The Beetroot quit playing games and joined the fray. When your country is under siege from Shandesh you have to answer the national call and join the facebook war, there’s no time to play games. All the digital pitchforks were out. Some citizens even assumed powers they do not have like declaring the offending artist a prohibited immigrant.

This is one of the most difficult things ever. I once tried to P.I. a friend (George) who was guilty of the particularly heinous crime of clipping off centimetres from my polony loaf like nobody’s business. I wrote a little note that said ‘To whom it may concern (mostly George): You are hereby notified that, effective immediately, your residency status at Jankey’s abode has been revoked. Your continued presence constitutes a Prohibited Immigrant scenario.’ Presenting the ‘declaration’ was the tricky part. I cleared my throat, put on my most stern, authoritative face (which usually just makes me look like I've smelled something bad), and handed George the crumpled paper. It didn’t work because George showed no sign of panic and promised to buy 2 polonies. It didn’t matter that I had a stern expression and a broomstick. So right now I am actually wondering how we are going to manage sticking this P.I. status on Shandesh. But the nation has tried all manner of expressing their displeasure at Shandesh’s utterances. Not too long ago a South African demanded an apology from Botswana and that would include apologies from people as far as Gunotsoga.

Shandesh’s indiscretion has presented a perfect opportunity for Botswana to also get an apology from South Africa. Ok, admittedly it is only one individual, but it is still a start. (For comments, feedback and insults email inkspills1969@gmail.com) Thulaganyo Jankey is a Rapporteur and training consultant who runs his own training consultancy that provides training in BQA- accredited courses. His other services include registering consultancies with BQA and developing training courses. Contact him on 74447920 or email ultimaxtraining@gmail.com