Let’s Apologise To Bridget

Thulaganyo Jankey | Tuesday July 1, 2025 11:08

A true miscalculation - similar to when an ex-GC mayor crossed the floor to join the then ruling party which promptly lost elections and became a minority opposition. This was akin to diving head first into the devil’s embrace. She went to court. When people are unhappy and they have enough money they go to court. She told the court she didn’t need the money. She has enough money to buy many small villages in Botswana. Instead all she wanted was for the government to apologise to her. Read that again. Rich people use a completely different template from ours. I would have wanted the P20 million because I know you cannot eat an apology. I am sure the billionaire’s attorneys, who were on a retainer worth more than many people’s houses, would have shocked the court with ‘Actually, we don’t want the money. All we want is atonement for this dastardly deed.’ Now that is some tough condition to navigate though many might not realize it. When they heard she did not want the money they brought out the trumpets and whistles. This was a hollow victory though. Its’ like a dazed fighter being stretchered off the ring and his promoter whispering in his ear something like ‘Good news, I have managed to secure a rematch’.

The apology had some stiff conditions. One of the conditions was for the Botswana government to publish a formal apology on its official website for seven consecutive days. Seven! And then they realized that the Botswana website might not reach all the international audience and so people in far flung areas like Guatemala, Mongolia, Iceland and Faroe Islands might not see it. So they ordered government to run retractions in major international outlets like CNN, The Wall Street Journal, Financial Times, and SABC. SABC would soon be running headlines like ’The Republic of Oopsland formally extends its sincerest apologies to Bridget’. So next time when you travel overseas and you tell people you are from Botswana do not be surprised when they say to you something like ‘Oh, so you are form the country that spews apologies on a daily?’ Every apology is immediately followed by a promise to learn from this ‘unfortunate incident.’ Which, translated, means: ‘We'll be much more careful about how we mess up next time, and probably invest in better PR to manage the fallout.’ They'll launch a committee, commission a report, and possibly even hold a workshop on ‘Effective Apology Delivery for Public Officials’ (attendance mandatory, enthusiasm optional).

At this point in time I suspect the PR teams are busy trying to coin seven different apologies which have basically the same meaning. Otherwise Bridget might well come back and tell them they are not serious and this time demand the P20 million compensation. I am sure those sneaky PR phrases are being filtered out to get best fit. Phrases that preface the apologies will be evaluated like ‘We messed up but we’re still amazing.’ ‘We acknowledge that our recent actions have caused some confusion’ ‘Listening to feedback from our stakeholders’ ‘We’re on a journey of growth and learning all the time.’ PR is basically about saying sorry without actually sounding like you are necessarily saying sorry. By golly we hope they get it right.

(For comments, feedback and insults email inkspills1969@gmail.com) Thulaganyo Jankey is a Rapporteur and training consultant who runs his own training consultancy that provides training in BQA- accredited courses. His other services include registering consultancies with BQA and developing training courses. Contact him on 74447920 or email ultimaxtraining@gmail.com