Back To Factory Settings After A Diet Program

Thulaganyo Jankey | Wednesday May 7, 2025 06:00

To be more precise let’s just say to make my midriff more sensible. My wife had nicely kept chipping away at my resistance to shedding weight. That is, until one day a very thin colleague said she forgot to eat while I was fat and hungry. I decided then that it was time to do something about my weight. In GC half the city is populated by bandwagonists. Every new trend is embraced. Embracing trends though is a bewildering rollercoaster. One day you're confidently strutting in skinny jeans, and the next, Gen Z has declared them illegal, leaving you wondering if you were ever cool to begin with. One day you are losing weight and the next people deep in midlife crises claim fat is the new cool. So it was 21 days of vegetable bliss. 21 days of meat-starved meals. 21 days arguing with my partner about the absence of cheat days. My fridge was instantly converted to looking like a wellness influencer’s vision board.

Initially I took to the diet with gusto of a toddler discovering a mud puddle - pure, unadulterated, slightly messy pursuit. But like all diets the initial excitement and gusto dissipates after a few days and you start wondering if you should have just run away and joined a secret society. It did come to an end eventually, thankfully. Getting to the end of a diet program is a celebration of freedom, a brief flirtation with delicious rebellion, and hopefully, a gentle slide into a more sustainable and enjoyable way of eating. The trick is not to scare your digestive system too much in the process! I emerged blinking into the sunlight, overwhelmed by the sheer abundance of forbidden foods. And I found myself even whispering sweet nothings to a bread basket. ‘Oh, how I've missed you, my fluffy friend.’ My wardrobe now needs a serious overhaul. At first, it felt like a triumphant victory lap—I was swimming in clothes that once clung for dear life, buttoning jeans without holding my breath, and suddenly realizing my “comfy hoodie” could now double as a tent. But then, reality hits. My once-beloved outfits now resemble borrowed clothes from a much larger sibling.

My pants sag like I am auditioning for a 90s rap video, and my shirts flap in the wind like a dramatic superhero cape. My biggest challenge now is maintaining weight. I must somehow try to be responsible and balance salads with the occasional fries. But I must be careful the fries don’t start showing up more often—as if sensing weakness. Sentiment like “One cheat meal won’t hurt”, must be guarded against because before you know it, the cheat meal has evolved into a cheat weekend, which then applies for permanent residency. (For comments, feedback and insults email inkspills1969@gmail.com) Thulaganyo Jankey is a training consultant who runs his own training consultancy that provides training in BQA- accredited courses. His other services include registering consultancies with BQA and developing training courses. Contact him on 74447920 or email ultimaxtraining@gmail.com.