Power outage musings

Thulaganyo Jankey | Wednesday April 30, 2025 12:50

Over the years, the power utilities have become more and more adept at euphemising their nomenclature to be less menacing. From the more menacing power cuts to the more palatable load shedding to the politically-correct load management, it has been an exercise in semantic gymnastics. It is akin to renaming pizza as ‘Italian flatbread indulgence’ to sound fancy. But it is still just plain old pizza. It’s like putting sunglasses on a potato—different name, same spud. Oscillating between these names has the same effect though – in the end you are stuck in a dark house. It is like the difference between being thrown from the 15th and 16th floor of I-Towers – they both kill you.

There was even a time when they used blackout if my memory serves me well. They beat a hasty retreat because over the years affixing the word ‘black’ to describe anything negative is sacrilegious. Describe anything using black and the very next day a sea of black people will demonstrate and accuse your establishment of spewing racist innuendo. I believe there’s a committee specifically assigned to craft names that are PR-compliant and that could somewhat band-aid the no-power moments. But the consumers cannot be fooled anymore. We can now smell through such trickery and deception. Power cuts can feel like the power utility’s way of enforcing mandatory breaks. Imagine the electricity going out just as you're trying to microwave leftovers—it's as if the power utility is whispering, ‘Maybe today’s the day you learn to cook.’ Yes, they are now forcing us to have a digital detox. But we don’t want a digital detox. Candlelit dinners?

Those are only romantic when there’s plenty of electricity. Otherwise they are a stark reminder of years gone by before civilization. Try saying candlelit dinner to a lady from GC central and you will most definitely fall off the dating boat faster than a teenager exiting the room when chores are mentioned. Initially, load management was as persistent as a fly at a braai and it resulted in many long faces in my neighbourhood. But recently, though, it has been bliss and our smiles are so wide we are about to sprain our cheekbones. We have not been load-managed in two weeks. It might not seem like much but we are not about to dare the switchman. We're going to ring out the plaudits until the universe gets the message: this switchman is seriously awesome! The best part about a power outage?

The collective sigh of relief when the lights finally flicker back on, followed by the mad dash to charge every device simultaneously. Cellphones have so taken our lives to the point where our first worry when the switchman ‘load manages’ your area is whether you have enough battery power in your cellphone to last the entire management time. (For comments, feedback and insults email inkspills1969@gmail.com) Thulaganyo Jankey is a Rapporteur and training consultant who runs his own training consultancy that provides training in BQA- accredited courses. His other services include registering consultancies with BQA and developing training courses. Contact him on 74447920 or email ultimaxtraining@gmail.com