OUT TO LUNCH

Shameela Winston | Monday May 19, 2008 00:00

You used to take work home, whether literally taking files with you, or figuratively by thinking about work related issues well into the evening, long after you had left the workplace. You even used to tell yourself, and anyone who would listen, that it wasn't about the salary: you were driven by your passion and heartfelt desire to make a change.

Now, things have changed. Radically. Lately, you have noted that you carry feelings of boredom and frustration. Sometimes you feel sad, other times just frustrated. Sometimes you are angry - at nothing in particular, but you lash out at everyone in general. Instead of cooperating, you are withdrawn, resistant and defiant. You would rather be anywhere but the workplace, and as for deadlines are targets, who cares? As long as you get your pay at the end of the month. You have become so slack that you come in after everyone else in the morning and rush out somewhere around 4pm. You are probably going to the pub, for some liquor. It's so bad that you know it's a matter of time before you are dismissed. You know your job is on the line, but it seems too late to do anything. Either that, or your pride tells you that you don't care.

There are two possibilities here, though some would argue there is just one that is actually a symptom of the other. You may have developed an attitude problem or you may just be reeling from burn out.

Attitude problem? Maybe through years (or months if things are that bad) of perceived workplace unfairness, you lost respect for a system that was unable to recognise and reward your efforts. You may have built up a layer of resentment towards those who you see as having ridden so successfully on your coattails that they are moving up the ladder faster than you realised was even possible. You may be so fed up with the many unfulfilled promises that 'management' makes, that right now, you are just pushing everyone's buttons so that someone confronts you, because you are just itching to give them a piece of your mind. 

Ok. We are all human beings, and we understand that, as much as we may really be working for the love of what we do, we also expect to reap the rewards of our efforts.

I'm sure that is a universal truth. So, from that perspective, I fully understand your meltdown. However, being rude, angry and petulant in the workplace is not going to benefit you. As justified as your behaviour may be - everyone disengages to some extent in the face of betrayal and disappointment - you are only shooting yourself in the foot.

When it comes down to it, 'the suits' have more power than you. And they can, and they will, use it against you. They can, for instance, remove you. Or, they can choose to make you remove yourself. They can be as subtle or dramatic as they please, and they can do it immediately or gradually, but they will do it. Never forget that. As good as you are at your job, you are replaceable. Yes, you are. More than that, there are more people waiting to take your position than there are vacancies waiting to absorb your skills.

Not to say that you should deny your feelings of professional disappointment. I'm merely suggesting that you find another outlet, like a counsellor, or a career coach, to talk to and rage at, so that when you get to work, you are able to perform to, at least, satisfactory standards. Doing some individual 'industrial action' unfortunately comes off as childish and makes you look bad.

The worst part is you will not even get an opportunity to explain it to a prospective employer without seeming unprofessional. So, again I say, don't shoot yourself in the foot.  

On the other hand, your attitude problem may be an indicator of something else, so that even if you did get a fair hearing, or a better deal with another employer, the symptoms would persist. Maybe you are feeling sorry for yourself and angry at the world because you are simply burnt out. You have worn out your emotional reserves and are struggling to cope. In that case, you would need to organise a real break for yourself. Fortunately, there are many wellness programmes out there to choose from.

Don't just stick to the 30-minute motivational talks because if the symptoms described here ring true for you, then you may be ready for something more in-depth. How about if you saw a psychologist? Never mind what people will say.

Think about what you will feel when your whole life comes crashing down around your ears because you didn't respond to the warning signals in time. Sure it hurts. Where did you think the term 'growing pains' came from? In the meantime, be kind to you.   

Shameela Winston is a human resource consultant in private practice. She is available to readers at ponniewinston@yahoo.com