'Give Fathers A Fighting Chance'

By Tumelo Setshogo
Correspondent | Monday May 19, 2008 00:00

 

Giving the keynote address at the International Day of the Family under the theme 'Father and Families: Responsibilities and Challenges' at this South East District village last week, former First Lady Olebile Masire said fathers have a duty to support and strengthen the status of the family.

'Fathers should help mothers raise children by supporting them with education, good health and other social needs,' she said, acknowledging that some fathers have demonstrated commitment in this regard. 

Today's children want to be taken care of by both parents, said Masire, popularly known as Mma-Gaone. Children also want to know where they came from: 'In other words, they want to know their identity,' she pointed out. Telling children that their fathers were run over by trains should become a thing of the past.

Masire had harsh words for mothers who deny fathers the right of access to their children, saying 'this affects children (and their fathers) psychologically'.

Mothers should not use their differences with fathers to punish children, because this has the effect of destroying the family.

If the relationship between mother and father has soured, the matter of who raises the children should be tackled with compassion and in the interest of the children.

Mma-Gaone said in 2007, an estimated 4 407 fathers failed to look after their children because they had been beaten up or were denied access to see their beloved children.

This is unacceptable in our culture (in) which we treasure (children) the most,' she said.

Making reference to recent legislative developments in family law, Masire said domestic violence and abuse in marriage should also become a thing of the past.

In 2007 alone, 101 cases of domestic violence were reported, 15 of them being of fathers beaten by mothers while 86 were of mothers beaten by fathers.

Nearly 1 600 rape cases were also reported, 391 of which the victims were minors while 30 involved children raped by relatives, 17 of whom had disabilities.  Speaking at the same occasion, Argentina Matavel of the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA) said 'families are made out of fathers, mothers, children (and) grandparents, each (of whom) has a role to play in the set up'.  If only one voice is heard, the situation turns into a dictatorship and cannot realise its full potential because the energies and talents of other members are not put to use.

Matavel said families are the building blocks of communities, societies and nations.

'It is the behaviour of individual families that lend a human face and statistics that label societies as progressive or backward.' Fathers and mothers should involve children in discussions of important and trivial issues of life alike, she added. 

Matavel said as heads of households, as parents, husbands and brothers, fathers have a huge responsibility in society. Fathers are also expected to provide for the family financially, give it protection against any harm, as well as raise, guide and mentor the children.

'They are (also) expected to be companions to their wives,' Matavel noted.  People from all over the country, among them magosi (chiefs), heads of ministries and government departments, and civil society attended the commemoration.