Breaking Rumours - MP Resigns

Thulaganyo Jankey | Tuesday March 12, 2024 09:04

The smarter reader would have deduced that my occupation is a hustler, which is street speak for 'unemployed'. So in my world, anyone who gets a salary with allowances like housing allowance, phone allowance and strange allowances like allowances for owning a spotted cat has a lucrative job. Obviously because the country is inhabited by conspiracy theorists, a myriad of unofficial reasons were bandied about. For those that don't know, if you mention the name Botswana it conjures up three things: diamonds, beef and conspiracies.

The third one we still haven't figured out how to package for export yet but I suppose bodies like BEMA must have constituted a committee to see how this can be packaged and exported. The rumour mill needed some oiling and the resignation of the MP turned out to be the perfect lube.

There's a theory that he will cross the floor to the ruling party because he is drowning in debts and so the guys on the other side have promised to bail him out. This is usually the standard response when an MP or any other person with a certain amount of political clout resigns from the opposition. If this is true, how come the other guys in the ruling party are not afforded the same bailing out? There's yet another rumour that he has grown feathers and might contest the next election as a mokoko, i.e. an independent candidate. Now, contesting as a mokoko is vanity on steroids unless of course you are Modubule and contesting in Lobatse. So if he goes this route, the vanity-metre will push up to the red zones and anyone who does this will almost always be asked whether they live with their mum.

The rumour mill seems to be operated by interns these days as it seems to be churning out rumours high on click bait but low on substance. In short, they induce keyboard warriors - who are conspiracy theories converts themselves - to get their fingers twanging only to find half-baked rumours that they cannot sell to the next person. Most of the rumour broadcasters want to be the first to break the rumour so it cannot be right that the rumour mill is spitting out half-baked rumours that you can't break to people with a measure of pride and confidence.

The poor MP is going to be busier than a cucumber in a woman’s prison trying to tell his story. Like a mosquito at a nudist colony, the MP is going to struggle knowing where to start. So why did the MP resign though? I think one of the reasons why he resigned could be he got tired of speakers saying ‘Order, Order’ when the House is actually orderly. I also believe he finally lost the guts to face Chillyboy, who one day chillingly promised to address him physically outside the doors of Parliament. The MP finally lost his nerve and headed for the exit.

(For comments, feedback and insults email inkspills1969@gmail.com) Thulaganyo Jankey is a Rapporteur and training consultant who runs his own training consultancy that provides training in BQA- accredited courses. His other services include registering consultancies with BQA and developing training courses. Contact him on 74447920 or email ultimaxtraining@gmail.com