Greed: covetousness that shadows relationships

Kealeboga Ngwigwa | Tuesday October 17, 2023 06:00

Two of them, a boy and a girl are still at high school. Our parents left so much inheritance that we could continue a living with but my brother is busy scattering it simply because he wants to always have money in his wallet.

Unfortunately, he has been unemployed ever since and now after tasting the death benefits we were awarded, he is more greedy and stupid at the same time. I deliberately call him stupid because he has no business mind that could potentially regenerate income for him but rather he spends it on women and alcohol. He has had more than P100, 000 that he has in his possession thus far, but he still sleeps on the same bed our parents bought for him while he was studying at the university in Zimbabwe.

We have recently had a tussle after he brought two Indian men to view the farm field that has been given to our younger brother, with attempts of selling it to them. He has sold so many plots especially all that he was given, and now he wants to steal so that he finances his mediocre lifestyle.

He has since started to contest against other siblings’ assets that he should also have a share. We are always assembled at either the court of the law or the kgotla to litigate such negative entitlements. I am fed up with my older brother’s attitude and behaviour, what can I do to deal with it amicably? Yours, Anonymous Dear Anonymous, It is a pity that you must go through all the trouble caused by a person that we could deem to be your parent at the moment especially since the departure of your biological parents.

You will not expect such a canning behaviour from him, not that I condone you to call him stupid, but he unfortunately exhibits that. At the same time, let us accord him the respect he deserves not meaning that we are in affirmation with what he wants to devour. I want to believe that when the inheritance was distributed amongst you, there were others present to witness the process, isn’t it? Or perhaps a lawyer can also be the facilitator. Please, make an appointment with any of the two or both to report that there has been deformation on the welfare structures of the estate of the deceased. This assembly is capable to rectify this unfair and annoying behaviour perpetrated by your elder brother.

Moreover, make sure that everyone’s inheritance is written in their respective names and relevant documents are protected. There is no one who is going to protect your younger siblings and your parents’ legacies but you. Accept your brother the way he is and let us not judge him, he is just lost and eventually he will come to his senses soon. You are now the older brother, play your role right. If he steals anything, simply engage security agencies to intervene and take him to task for his actions. #ColoringSouls

Dear Coach, I feel so betrayed by my own flesh and blood. I opened a business about nine years ago and it has been performing excellently thus far. As the business progressed, I identified an opportunity that I felt I could not lose at all. As I did my research on how to maximise on the chance, I learnt that my age has not much benefits especially in relation to the fees of registration and processing.

I am currently 39-years-old while my younger brother is 24. If I make an application with my current age, I will pay a good P20, 000 but if I used him as a director I would pay half which amounts to P10, 000. I took a shot hoping that my younger brother would be trustworthy but to my surprise he is running away with my company. I have been trying to get hold of him but to no avail. I have tried to plead with him and promising him some money but he is not moved. What should I do because the last thing I want is bad blood with my sibling?

Yours, Anonymous Dear Anonymous, It is always difficult to prove that something is really yours if there is no record that indeed it was before. It is very important to always draw contracts so that we do not lose traction of our interests. It is normal in Botswana to do verbal agreements rather than written and we end up being compromised in the process. Yet we are all literate and sound to practise business principles. I think you must establish why your brother is doing what and then you can address the matter from that end.

Sometimes anger crops in and you start saying things that may prompt him to relax with your belongings. If he is doing it out of greed, you must be prepared to accept the loss and the relationship. Otherwise, please be meek to him and invite him over so that you resolve the matter amicably. #ColoringSouls Kealeboga Ronald Ngwigwa is the Founder and Director of Coloring Souls Coaching. A company advocating for MIND-SET CHANGE. For team building exercise bookings contact +267 72 522 213/ +267 71 830 584 or email krcoloringsouls@gmail.com for quotations.