Writer’s block and average looks

Thulaganyo Jankey | Tuesday May 9, 2023 06:00

Writer’s block is a more technical term to describe a writer’s inability to come up with something interesting to write. But what is the writer’s block? Now for most of us this means when we get to this point our jobs might be in more jeopardy than a drunk junior who has just trashed his boss at a Christmas party.

Our job is to write and we cannot afford to have such literary indiscretions. Every living being has experienced a writer’s block at least once in their lifetime. Many of us struggled with writing letters to girls when we were teenagers. We just couldn’t get anything going beyond ‘time and ability’, which was a very popular and powerful opening phrase.

One of the antidotes for writers block according to the most reliable source, Uncle Google, is inspiration. And inspiration comes from all sorts of places and that is the main reason I went there.

At immigration they are used to dealing with large crowds. Unsuccessfully! This makes it a fertile ground for interesting stories. People in large groups provide entertainment, grief and large doses of idiocy. So if one bids their time and listens carefully and focus their observation lens just right, one might well pick some juicy bits for their vocation.

Unlike in times gone by when they took just one picture for your passport, these days they take several pictures and allow you to choose the more flattering one. Basically these days you are given a chance to be beautiful. Back in the day in our passports many of us either looked like little radiation victims or those faces at the post office on the ‘wanted’ posters. A little hilarious episode played itself out this morning. A lady of very average looks complained first about the quality of the camera.

Then she complained about the photographer’s ability (or lack thereof) when situations still didn’t improve. I have observed that people with average looks tend to overrate their looks and are generally a nightmare for cameramen at immigration offices. I am one of them. I was almost ejected and banned from immigration offices when I remonstrated with a cameraman whose technical abilities I didn’t think much of. The bewildered cameraman was too magnanimous to blame my two-bob face.

But his supervisor wasn’t that generous and made it clear they were not about to tolerate such hemorrhaging from people with controversial faces. People with average looks don’t generally support each other. In fact, people never support anyone with average looks. So the lady kept ploughing a lonely furrow and my evil heart just kept quiet and failed to support my type. I don’t know if I got any inspiration from this very visit or not but I did actually manage to get a nice flow for my subsequent piece.

But we also need serious interventions for this nemesis. How about we have a Writer’s Block rehab facility? I do appreciate the enormity of having such a facility in our country given the history of the rehab facilities that were once touted by the president who was also referred to as ‘my president’. Remember ‘my president’ had serious issues with alcohol and decided that the country is inhabited by mostly people high on alcohol and promptly introduced an alcohol levy. That is everyone who stepped inside a bar or any alcohol outlet will be expected to pay more than what the beer actually costs. So the barmen and bottle store owners were supposed to come together and aggregate the money and give it to government. Well, something like that! Government will then take this money and build rehab centres for people that take more beer than is allowed by government. In such centres, motivational speakers will come and give speeches to help people kick their drinking habits.

There will also be people called ‘recovering addicts’ or some such nomenclature who will tell stories of how they used to drink alcohol and how it used to get them into trouble with their aunts – basically that yawn fest of how successful they were with getting rid of their alcohol inebriation. But the rehab centres didn’t happen. They could not cast the first brick until ‘my president’s’ term expired and he left the country. But I do have confidence that a Writer’s Block Rehab facility could well be put together to help us the suffering masses. (For comments, feedback and insults email inkspills1969@gmail.com) Thulaganyo Jankey is a training consultant who runs his own training consultancy that provides training in BQA- accredited courses. His other services include registering consultancies with BQA and developing training courses. Contact him on 74447920 or email ultimaxtraining@gmail.com.