Tears of the boy-child
Zolani Kraai | Wednesday April 26, 2023 15:05
According to a Demographic and Health Survey done in Kenya some years ago, domestic violence is assessed as abuse within the household by various perpetrators defined as “partner/spousal violence by current or former spouse or partner”.
In a recent edition, Mmegi highlighted some aspects that the boy-child experiences when growing up, which mostly are driven by some traditional and cultural dynamics in society. As a result, the effects lead the young man to a troubled life and in the long term could result in gender-based violence with the boy-child or man labelled as a perpetrator.
Despite tremendous advancement towards gender equality as a global goal, much progress remains to be made in Botswana, particularly in the prevention of gender-based violence in the household. Very little attention is paid to men, let alone the boy-child.
The debate is yet to be had around the fact that domestic abuse is routinely portrayed as a gendered crime, perpetrated by men against women. Why are men overlooked as victims of domestic abuse?
From an early age, men receive the message that they should never be or even appear vulnerable or weak. The idea a man cannot be a victim is central to gender socialisation. All traditional gender stereotypes make men suffer almost equally with women but currently activists, even in Botswana, do not realise that sexual abuse and harassment are too men's issues. All the problems faced by men and the boy-child are so neglected that there are not enough resources to study this issue, even by the NGOs in Botswana.
Barriers such as prejudices, social taboos, fear of stigma, and falling outside of masculine norms, as well as legal frameworks tailormade for women, limit men, and the boychild’s access.
But Gender-Based Violence (GBV) is not discriminating and can happen to men and boys in addition to women and girls.
In supporting government efforts though, a local civil society institution, Men, Boys, and Gender Equality, remain the only active NGO in Botswana that seeks to address and promptly act on issues that affect the boy-child and men. However, they cannot do it alone, especially looking at the frequency and burden of Gender-Based Violence (GBV) incidents in Botswana.
Batswana in general and activists, in particular, have too often neglected how gender plays out in the lives of men and boys, to the detriment of men and boys. Rigid norms related to gender and power differentials between groups of men, mean that many are vulnerable to violence and unlikely to seek health services when compared to women.
United Nations agencies, governments, and civil society in some African countries like Rwanda, have affirmed the need to involve boys and men in achieving gender equality, reducing violence against women and girls, preventing sexual exploitation, reducing HIV and AIDS, and promoting the rights and wellbeing of girls and women, and boys and men themselves.
However, in the context of Botswana, Men’s Sector and other clusters are making small strides in engaging men and the boy-child in the fight against GBV.
According to the UNICEF Botswana Country Report for 2021, both girls and boys in the country are exposed to violence with 25% of girls and nine percent of boys subjected to sexual violence; 43% of boys and 28% of girls are subjected to physical violence. The report further states that less than 10% of both genders seek help due to the stigma attached to sexual violence, with most perpetrators being family members or known to the family.
During the year 2022, the Botswana Police Service recorded 21 murder cases in which females were the perpetrators. Police say this not only backs a long-term trend but other statistics indicate that men are beginning to report abuse.
The government, through the Botswana Police Services, has established child-friendly police stations at Francistown, Shakawe, Letlhakane, Gantsi, and Lobatse while Broadhurst has been described as the centre of excellence.
According to Senior Assistant Commissioner Goitseone Ngono, the centres facilitate GBV awareness consultations through a client-centred approach, where a client is comfortable considering their age and gender sensitivity. Ngono stated that the newly established GBV facilities offer programmes to cater for both boy and girl children.
“Even though men utilise the service centres, minimally so, their uptake numbers are still low due to issues of cultural norms and the stigma surrounding the GBV issues,” Ngono said. Ngono at the centres, boys do receive due attention because often they are entangled within the factors driving GBV, being perpetrators as well as victims.
Meanwhile, studies are still unclear as to the relative prevalence of Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) between men and women, with some researchers believing that the number of male victims may be under-reported to the police. Determining the rate of IPV against males can be difficult as men may be reluctant to report their abuse or seek help.
UNICEF Botswana expects that in the near future, there will soon be nationally representative data on violence against males and females aged 18 to 24 as part of the forthcoming Violence Against Children Surveys (VACS). It should also be noted that Botswana has no recent Demographic and Health Survey or Multiple Indicator Cluster Survey (MICS). The last such reports were conducted in the country in 2000 and did not include questions on GBV.
Local GBV activist and Gaborone West Customary Court president, Kgosi Arnold Somolokae, told Mmegi there is an urgent need to engage men as allies with women, to do much more to prevent violence from occurring in the community. He said the partnership between the genders was critical to putting in place policies, support services and resources for local action.
Somolokae said to better fight the war against gender-based violence, there is a need to mount intensive, deep-rooted educational campaigns and awareness sessions on the traditional and cultural dynamics. These efforts should target grassroots communities, rural areas, as well as primary and secondary schools.
Somolokae believes that most men who use violence against women are those that have in their infancy, witnessed the same or drank from the poisoned chalice of cultural pressures.
“Some have been socialised into rigid norms about manhood, and they believe there will be no accountability for their actions. “But the social stigma surrounding domestic abuse is even stronger when the victim is a man and the perpetrator is a woman,” Somolokae explained.
Experts say the 'Reset Agenda' must be adopted by all relevant stakeholders in the fight against GBV to engage men as part of the solution. It is essential to note that marginalising men to empower women only worsens GBV. Labelling men as 'perpetrators' in speeches at various GBV campaigns only demoralises potential male activists, or scares victims away from sharing their testimonies.
Engaging males in the GBV effort should begin at an early age before they observe violent behaviours. Boy’s education on this topic at school age is essential to create a safe environment for girls, while also enabling male students to develop positive masculinity and attitudes that they will be able to carry into their adult lives.