Lifestyle

My Mother was a Woman

Dingake and his wife Tebogo at their home in Mogoditshane.The author turns 95 next Saturday
 
Dingake and his wife Tebogo at their home in Mogoditshane.The author turns 95 next Saturday

My Mother was a Woman is a monologue, which reads like travelogue, where at each station, the author stops to talk about a case, usually, in celebratory or approving tones.

It is the story of, and about our sisters from Bobonong to Johannesburg, from East to West, and from the Bible and other Classics. Readers of Dingake’s writings will tell you that he is often spoilt for circumlocution – and verbosity.

This story is, however, told in beautiful, artistic language. There were moments when I would pause mid-stanza, read and re-read a sentence, reveling in the author’s artistry.

From Bobonong, Dingake’s home town, two women stand out: his mother, the ‘prophetess’ Tumo Sekoro Dingake (néé Mekgatho), and girl prodigy Serara Segarona Selelo, his classmate at primary school.

Sekoro, who is only mentioned once by name in the book, and is simply referred to as ‘mama’ or ‘mum’ – derived her name from a hardy weed which plagued her community at the time of her birth. “She projected her hardiness in her unwavering love for her children and cordial relations with the villagers, and even strangers”, reads the book. Such trait is amplified by her generosity in allowing the entire village to use her sewing machine for free to patch their clothes. As for her children, she never hesitated to give them some tongue lashing, or should the need arise, spank them when they misbehaved. Young Michael knew better!

Sekoro had been distressed by the conscription of her husband in the British army to fight in World War 2 and foresaw untold misery visiting her house. Shortly after his departure overseas, she lost two of her sons. Three years later she passed on.

The author was 16-years-old doing Form 1 in Johannesburg when his mother died. Pocket money aside, he recounts nuggets of wisdom he received from her when she was still alive. He admired her fortitude. She was a source of guidance, love and protection. Whist she quietly supported his quest for education, she was worried about his absence overseas (Lewatleng).

Years later when the author was incarcerated in a South African maximum security prison for political activities, he could not help but appreciate her mother’s prophesying. This was a woman to be celebrated.



“She was a mother in the image of all mothers, the unappreciated women creatures who have raised and brought up each and every one of us into this beautiful planet, cursed only by its brutality to mothers.” Notice the allegory . [Emphasis supplied]

Serara frequently comes out in Dingake’s books. She is distinguished for her academic prowess. After finishing primary school in Bobonong, she went on to study at Tiger Kloof in South Africa, later graduating as a nurse from the University of Ottawa in Canada. Serara would go on to become the first Motswana woman to hold a doctorate and a professor teaching Nursing at the University of Botswana. She was married to Professor Elliot Khupe and subsequently Archibold Mogwe, the Kanye native, diplomat and politician. Serara Segarona Khupe-Mogwe, died at the age of 93 in 2020. Women, says the author, can save the world from itself if given the chance to play their role of motherhood. Take the case of the former Public Protector of South Africa, Thuli Madonsela. She comes out as a courageous and strong woman. Madonsela exposed ‘state capture’ in the government of former president Jacob Zuma. She submitted a report which led to the setting up of a Commission of Inquiry on state capture. Zuma subsequently resigned as State President. African National Congress stalwart, Gwede Mantashe, would later commend Madonsela for “saving the ANC from ourselves”, adding that the country needed more people of her courage. “Mr Dingake, meet the husband of Aung Sang Suu Kyi”. This was in Chicago in 1996, when a friend introduced the late Michael Aris, the Oxford University don, who had married the Myanmar (formerly Burma) Nobel Peace Prize laureate, to him at a function.

The norm says Dingake, is for women to be introduced as wives of so-and-so. Suu Kyi’s struggles against the Myanmar’s military junta are well documented. She would not be fazed. In typical Dingake frolic, she was “the woman who refused to genuflect before male priesthood or to worship at the altar smelling of male incense”! Suu Kyi, is the daughter of Aung Saan, Myanmar’s nationalist leader, who fought British colonial rule for many years, but was assassinated six months before the country attained independence from Britain in January 1948. After serving 15 years in house imprisonment, she became counsellor (prime minister) of Myanmar in 2015. She could not become president due to a clause in the constitution, but was determined to rule by proxy.

Unfortunately, the Myanmar junta gave her party nominal power, eventually pushing her aside. She would be severely condemned by international organisations for failing to speak out against the persecution of Myanmar Rohingya Muslims. This condemnation has resulted in some organisations revoking and striping her of her awards. Her silence surprises the author. “I am personally perplexed; absolutely at a loss. The Rohingya situation is shrouded in palpable mystery of misreporting and under reporting”.

Aung Sang Suu Kyi is currently serving a 33-year jail sentence. Dingake’s take is that Suu Kyi is a human being. Often people in her position are treated as magicians who can do wonders or solve all the world’s problems. His advice to her is that she should tell her followers that human beings must take the smallest opportunity to do good for others. Each and every one person should strive to work for humanity and to change the world into a better living place. I mentioned the use of artistry in the author’s presentation at the beginning. There is a lot of creativity in the monologues. Dingake, the wordsmith, is a master in alliteration.

Christianity or any other religious doctrine takes advantage of the ignorance of the masses, the poverty that weighs on the majority and the fear of the big unknown that hovers around them. The three: Ignorance, Poverty and Fear, is the trinity that rules to make humans tremble and obedient to any pretender to authority and to become gullible... [page 107]

Humankind should declare a ceasefire on religion because all religions are beliefs in unproven supernatural beings, some mystical creator of the universe and the firmament. ...All religions are nothing else but speculation, guesswork, hypothesis, a hit-and-run search for the truth and no religion has so far discovered this enigmatic animal. [page 104]

Women are belittled, abused, raped murdered daily, by men, just because they are who they are, Women. Abuse and rape of women, rape in particular is the most heinous crime against women.’ [page 113].

My Mother was Woman is not only a tribute to women but a call for action for the betterment of women. In this respect, the author aligns himself with the Beijing Platform and calls on everyone, including the politicians and the Church to play their part in prioritising gender equality. For,

Our mothers are crying for gender equality now. We can make it a duty to fight side by side with women by raising our voices for honesty, truth and compassion for the plight of our mothers. Mothers are the foundation, the brick and mortar of the human edifice. Let the construction begin!

The book is published by Austin Macauley Publishers (London) and is available online from Amazon.

The paperback edition costs USD4.50 (P50). Link -:

Amazon.com


A Book Review by Methaetsile Leepile