Acceptance is the best remedy, gulp it whole heartily
Kealeboga Ngwigwa | Tuesday November 8, 2022 06:00
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
I can feel what you are going through. I have one been in a similar position. I got to learn that wherever we are positioned it is where the universe places us. We are never less or much but rather adequate for such amount of influence. Therefore, it is not more of power but rather purpose. You just have to realise your mission and align it to the scope of your work. Keep on working hard in delivering your self-purpose within your organisation purpose. You will have a reason to wake up every morning.
Demotion is when you feel that what you are gifted with innately is not worth it and you do not exercise the gift which sprouts happiness and sharpens us. We must strive to satisfy the inner man and he attracts greatness. There is immense possibility that you still can achieve your self-actualisation need. So it does not matter what your position but gratefulness for holding fort to something. Perception is everything, it gives taste to life. Illusions that you acknowledge as reality, ultimately become your reality. If you see the positives, you yield the positive whilst the negative yields the negative. Stay positive always.
#ColoringSouls
Dear Coach,
I am going through a process of divorce. I feel like I have fallen from some grace. I feel that I have brought a lot of shame to my family and most of the time I feel like a complete loser. I have not forgiven my ex-husband and this has brought a lot of anger and bitterness on me. This is also affecting our 15-year-old daughter and seven-year-old son. I desire to get along with my ex-husband for the sake of our children’s up-bringing and welfare. I do not want them to not believe in love as they grow up. What can I do coach in order to make this desire a reality?
Yours Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
I wish no one would endure divorce but unfortunately it is a portion for some of us. It is sometimes referred to as “death” but unlike the actual death, you celebrate the funeral whenever you see or at times during interactions with them. We mourn again because we still love them. They were one big part of our lives and never do we anticipate such a tragedy of living without them. Acceptance is the best medicine in all situations. It happens to us because it fits how unique and wonderfully you are made. We need to acknowledge our own stories and accommodate that it is history we cannot run off. Divorce is not failure but rather liberation of emotions of lack of peace. As much as you blame your ex-partner, you are equally responsible towards the unfolding of the course - Reciprocate.
We divorce not because we do not love our spouse but there are factors that may hinder us to distribute the passion of affection we feel for them and somehow we lack peace within the relation. Do not beat yourself hard and change your perception about the predicament. Everything happens for our own good.
It is a great thing that you are noticing the impact this has upon your children. It is now the cornerstone with which you can build your healing. The reason to accept and acknowledge that it is happening to you. Shame is what we stigmatise ourselves with. If you own your story confidently, nothing will shake you off despite what people would say in attempting to mock you.
#ColoringSouls
Dear Coach,
My neighbour is terribly sick and she lives alone, the most painful part. I keep on visiting her from time to time but it seems like she is not getting better. I have faith that she can recover from her sickness but I just lack wisdom on how to help her meet her speedy recovery. It breaks my heart to always see her lying hopelessly on the bed yet she has some strength to walk around her yard, uttering words of death. What must I do to help turn her situation around?
Yours,
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
Being sick is one of the most painful circumstances one could go through especially when you live alone. It is a great thing that you keep on visiting her as often as possible because conversing with her stalls the “bed-sick thoughts” she is often faced with. Her position gives her no any new thing rather the same things all the time, that is, furniture, curtains or the colour of the wall. Therefore, whenever you visit her, take her off the bed and take her outside to expose her sight to different environmental stimuli to earn her mind fresh thoughts. Encourage her to find a light-weighted hobby that she could do in a uncompromising body posture. Whilst engaged in that, her mind and spirit would be enchanted in those moments and thoughts of her being sick will be dominated. That would lure her to develop hope and strength to recover. Embolden her to find someone to live with because silence around her is contributing to her health deteriorating further.
#ColoringSouls
Kealeboga Ronald Ngwigwa is a Life Coach, Author, Columnist, Team Builder and an Events Director who believes that emotions build an attitude which ultimately builds one’s character. Forward your enquiries to krcoloringsouls@gmail.com or WhatsApp +26772522213 for advice.